I get a little sad sometimes. This would be one of those times.
We'll move soon enough to Hawaii.
That doesn't depress me. It's nice here.
But a big chapter will close shortly.
I'll go offline -- which I'm fine with -- and so will the others and it'll be really different.
I don't really know how to explain it.
If you don't know, my parents died when I was young. My older brother raised me.
So passages don't feel natural to me always.
Sometimes they are scary.
This would be one of those scary times.
I don't know what's coming.
I am clearly nervous over my love life. You know who he is. You know he's a great guy. You know we've managed to stay together this long. You also know he's a younger than me.
So that gives me a few jitters.
Then there's the fact that Rebecca, C.I. and I have been best friends since college. We talk all the time, always have. But there's no denying that doing the online experience together deepened our friendship. If I'm really honest, that's a minor, the whole we may be in less contact. Where's it's a major is that I fear losing Rebecca or C.I. Not 'oh we're not friends!' That won't happen. I'm talking about dying. Those two have been so important in my life. There's my brother and there's those two. They are my family.
Closing down online feels like a death. Maybe just a mini-one. That has me afraid of a larger death, of Rebecca or C.I. passing away.
(Me passing away? I don't see it anytime soon.)
So as the vacation ends and Mike, our daughter get ready to go back home, I'm reminded that C.I. only extended for another six months (she did that July 4th) and that she wants to pull the plug online (and I share that feeling), that she's tired and I don't blame her. But it's just a little sad.
Just a little 'end of summer' kind of vibe.
I'm reminded of Carly Simon's song "We Just Got Here."
There are a few more freckles on your shoulders
The hammock swings lower and touches the ground
The apples are ripe and the corn is past
Everyone says summer goes by so fast
And we just got here
It does feel like "we just got here."
I love the song but, as it says later in another verse, it's "bittersweet."
So that's what I'm thinking about right now. I'm sure there are weightier topics. That's where I'm at.
"Iraq snapshot" (The Common Ills):