I really did hope to blog last night. But I got back Weds. and went to work Thursday. After the evening group, I was so tempted to take a nap before even going home. Please visit Mikey Likes It! to get Mike's thoughts for the day. We're toying with different ideas still on how we'll remain "blog twins" after we've decided to delink. Hopefully, by next Friday, we'll have it down.
"Iraq Snapshot" (The Common Ills):
The Operation Happy Talk goes on.
Sean McFarland becomes the biggest doofus outside the administration by delcaring, "I think we have turned a corner her in Ramadi." MacFarland is both an Army Col. and a Happy Talker.
In news that's a little harder to Happy Talk, Antonio Castaneda (AP) reports that of the 1000 Sunni soldiers who made up the May 2006 graduating class "only about 300 of them have reported for duty".
In other news from the real world, Reuters reports that the US Congressional Budget Office predicts: "The Iraq war could cost U.S. taxpayers between $202 billion and $406 billion more over the next 10 years".
These projections come at a time when, as Martha Burk has pointed out (Ms.), the US government has cut "[d]omestic-violence prevention by $35 million, Medicaid by $17 billion over five years and child care programs by 1.03 billion over five years."
In other costs paid, Reuters reports 12 corpses were discovered in Tal Afar. CBS and the AP note a corpse ("shot in the chest . . . signs of torture") discovered in Azizyah".
Bombings?
As noted earlier this morning, seven people were killed ("after Friday prayers") when a Sunni mosque in Baghdad was bombed. Meanwhile Reuters reports that a mosque in Balad Ruz was hit by mortar rounds leaving at least two dead and four wounded while a car bomber in Mosul who killed himself and five others. The AFP covers a mortar attack in Baghdad that left one person dead and nine wounded.
Shooting deaths?
Reuters notes that two policeman were killed by a sniper in Tal Afar while a minibus near Kut was attacked "with machine gun fire" resulting in five dead ("including a wwoman and a child"). Meanwhile, the AFP reports attacks in two cities: a car was "ambushed" in Tikrit by assailants who shot the father dead and wounded the son; and, in Mosul, two different attacks left a police officer dead as well as the bodyguard of a judge. And the Associated Press reports a drive-by in Baghdad that killed a taxi driver.
The BBC noted the death of several Iraqi soldiers (12 at that point) in Kirkuk when they were attacked with "rocket-propelled grenades and machine guns". AFX raised the number dead to 13 (citing "colonel Mahmud Abdulla").
Meanwhile, following yesterday's kidnapping attempt that left wrestling coach Mohammed Karim Abid Sahib dead, the AP reports that: "Iraq's national wrestling team [has] pulled out of a tournament in the United Arab Emirates".
In the United States, Saturday July 15th is a day of action calling for Suzanne Swift to receive an honorable discharge including a protest, "at the gates of Ft. Lewis (exit 119) beginning at 12 pm with a press converence at 3 pm" in Washington state -- while in Eugen, Oregon there will be a demonstration outside the Federal Building at noon.
In DC (and across the globe -- over 22 countries), the fast led by CODEPINK and others continues. As Thursday's The KPFA Evening News reported some Congressional members, including Barbara Lee, Maxine Waters, Dennis Kucinich, Cynthia McKinney and Lynne Woolsey took part in a one-day fast on Thursday. Ann Wright, who ressigned from the State Department on May 19, 2003 and is taking part in the actions stated: "The only reason we fast is to force us to remember what's going on here. That innocent Iraqis are dying every day, Americans are dying every day. We need to get this war ended. So, yeah, we're going to up the ante".
Lastly, Wednesday July 19th, San Antonio, TX will be the location for a "public hearing held by the the independent Commission on the National Guard and Reserves" -- "in the Iberia Ballroom of the La Mansion Del Rio Hotel, 112 College Street, San Antonio."
There will be two panels with the first lasting from 9:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. and focused on "roles and missions to funding requirements" and the second, lasting from 2:00 pm to 4 pm, focusing on how reserves were "involuntarily mobilized after September 11, 2001".
On the above, there are numerous items that are important and I'm sure that something will stand out for everyone. I am tremendously bothered by the cuts in domestic abuse prevention.
You could argue, and you'd be right, that there's no way this administration wasn't going to do those cuts because they don't care about safety and they especially don't care about women's safety. However, look at that cut, $35 million. While we'll likely end up spending over $200 billion on the illegal war, we can't cough up $35 million for prevention? It proves, though it doesn't need proving at this late date, that there's always money for war.
I didn't know the new issue of Ms. was out. I'll be visiting my bookstore tomorrow and picking it up. I prefer to buy my magazines in person. I know some people enjoy the excitement of going to the mailbox and wondering, "Is this the day?" As I've explained here before, this was something my father did on Saturdays, took my brother and I to the bookstore to get us out of my mother's hair. Saturdays aren't Saturdays without a visit to a bookstore.
One of the worst parts of the vacation which had a store of some type on the resort but it was all travel, garden, sports and finances in terms of magazines and, in terms of books, a lot of right wing bios/'studies' and a lot of page turners. No Jackie Collins because I would've picked her up for a beach read. I ended up raiding the books Rebecca brought along that she'd snagged from C.I. One was nonfiction and I was so-so on it. The other one I read was Alentejo Blue and the author is Monica Ali. It was a . . . Involving. It reminded me of some of Anais Nin's short fiction and a great deal of her novel Collages. I'm speaking of the way it offered character studies. The locale and the characters were quite different. But if you enjoyed Collages, you would really enjoy this book. I had packed Mauguerite Young's Miss MacIntosh, My Darling and I read (and strongly enjoyed) that book. That is a book that I've meant to read for some time. It's a very long book and I lost a copy once on a trip mid-way through the book. I've had a difficult time finding it over the years (at one point it was out-of-print and may be still) but C.I. has a copy and was kind enough to send it to me.
I should note that C.I., in college, is the one who turned both Rebecca and myself onto Anais Nin. Her interest in the human psyche and her choices of illustrative words have always moved me. So if you're searching for some fiction to read, I'd recommend Alentejo Blue, anything by Anais Nin and Miss MacIntosh, My Darling.
When we were out on the beach, Rebecca would moan, "Not the big book!" It is a big book, Young's novel. I haven't even unpacked. I got back late Weds. and was too tired Thursday. But let me walk away from the computer and see if I can find the suitcase with that book.
Okay. This is the hardcover edition. It is 1,198 pages. That's why Rebecca called it "the big book." I was hoping to skim some of the book because I had been half-way through it when I lost my copy. But her style is part of the book's charm and I got caught up in it. So I'd read about 30 pages and look over at Rebecca and if she was at a stopping point in her book, we'd talk about what we were reading or what we were going to eat at dinner. Or who's turn it was to waive the guy over for more drinks. We were very lazy. The guys were more productive and went scuba diving. If it had been a longer vacation for me, I probably would have done that as well. However, I have had swimmer's ear before and with such a short time, I didn't want to risk getting it and then getting stuck with it on the flights back which would have been a painful nightmare.
We didn't just read. We walked a great deal. It was a little too . . . It wasn't my taste, the resort. It was beautiful. But . . . I enjoyed myself. I did. We did end up doing picnics in the evening because some of the other guests really got on my nerves.
Want a good read online? Read Betty's "The War Paint Council" which is very funny and it's nice to see the 'macho' War Hawks in a different light. I love how she takes a needles to their ballons and let's all the hot air out. Another good read is Trina's "Deviled Eggs in the Kitchen." That will touch you. But if you're looking funny, Sunny showed this to me today at the office. She said she read it three times and couldn't stop laughing each time. If the excerpt doesn't make you laugh and you enjoy humorous writing, just assume that I've chosen wrong for the excerpt because it is very funny.
"Bugging Hillary" (Susie Day, CounterPunch):
One morning, as Hillary Rodham Clinton was waking up from anxious dreams, she discovered that she had been changed into a monstrous verminous Republican.
She lay on her armor-hard back and saw, as she lifted her head up a little, her brown, arched abdomen divided into rigid bow-like sections. Her numerous legs, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of her circumference, flickered helplessly before her eyes.
"Oh, great," she muttered. "I am 100% enjoying this. In fact, I'd really like to french kiss whoever did this to me."
Hillary Rodham Clinton was no stranger to sarcasm. Sarcasm had gotten her out of the house where she had once loved to bake cookies in the shape of Tammy Wynette and into the public fray, to fight the rightwing plots that assailed her and her husband.
There, in order to survive, she had learned to "triangulate." She had become highly skilled in moving to the center, between two opposing sides, ignoring the liberal losers and placating the neoconservative ascendancy all the while remaining staunch and true to whatever it was she stood for that day. She was proud of her record in the Senate, proud that Pete Seeger had never written a song about voting for her.
Who could have done this? Was her loathsome new form the work of another rightwing conspiracy? But why would the Right do this to her now? Hadn't she just complimented the President on his "charm and charisma"? Hadn't she supported capital punishment and welfare reform? Sponsored anti-flag-burning legislation? Asked for 80,000 more troops in the army? Pounced on photo-ops with the likes of Tom DeLay, Karl Rove, and Bill Frist, and planned a fundraiser hosted by Rupert Murdoch? Hmm Maybe FBI higher-ups, seeking to upgrade surveillance, had told one of their inept agents to "bug" her room. Those imbeciles screwed up so much; no telling what they might do to a figure of speech.
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Friday, July 14, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Return from vacation
"Iraq snapshot" (The Common Ills):
Iraq snapshot.
The daily life continues to be marred by chaos and violence. And apparently role playing Geoffrey Miller, Donald Rumsfeld went from Afghanistan to Iraq with violence following in his wake as he apparently pulled the strings of Nouri al-Maliki, US puppet of the illegal occupation.
As noted this morning: "AP is reporting that a bus station in Baghdad was stormed by 'gunmen' and at least 24 people were seized with at least 20 of those 24 being killed."
The AFP reports that 22 corpses were discovered ("Blindfolded, hands tied behind them, and most shot in the head") and that the number kidnapped was much larger than 24, "up to 80." For those who question that number, the AFP quotes "Senior Shiite MP Jaladdin al-Saghir" saying: "There was a very serious breach of security in Diyala province today when 60-80 Shiites were kidnapped from the bus station".
The AP reports, on the corpses discovered from the mass kidnapping, "Relatives wept over loved ones, with one man leaning over an open coffin and kissing the hand of a victim."
The AFP notes, of the continued violence in the the city where the "crackdown" is ongoing. "Violence in Baghdad has raged despite the fact that more than 50,000 troops, mostly Iraqi, have been patrolling the capital's streets since last month."
Other shootings? Reuters reports: "clashes . . . between Iraqi policemen and gunmen" in Baghdad that left a civilian and a police officer dead as well as two patrol cars burned; in Tikrit, a police officer was shot dead; in Kirkuk, a police officer was shot dead; and, in Baghdad, a "Baghdad University professor" was shot dead.
Bombings?
CBS and the AP report a car bomb exploding "near an Iraqi army base in Haswa" leaving eight wounded. Reuters notes that a civilian died in the blast (and spells it "Hasswa") and notes two bombs in Baghdad. One "suicide bomber" entered a restaurant, engaged the bomb killing himself and seven people while leaving twenty more wounded. Reuters also notes a roadside bomb that wounded three ("including a child").
Corpses?
Reuters reports that two corpses were found (carpenters) in Tikrit, while another corpse ("gunshot wounds and signs of torture") was discovered in Kirkuk.
As Dahr Jamail and others have noted, Iraqis are fleeing the country. The BBC offers the stories of three who have left (in their own words). The fleeing continues though the AP notes that "flyers circulated in a predominately Sunni area north of Baghdad, uring Shi'ite families no tto flee and warning people not to hurt members of the majority sect."
Meanwhile the AFP is reporting that 150 women "protested at Baghdad's Yamuk club and demanded that the former soldier Steven Green be tried as a 'war criminal.'" The former 101st Airborne Division Green was the first person arrested in the alleged rape and murder of 14 year-old Abeer Qasim Hamza al-Janabi as well as the murder of three of her family members. (That arrest, FOR THE RECORD, took place on Friday June 30th and not "last week" as too many keep misreporting.)
The Associated Press reports that following all the scandals, Dick Cheney's former company Halliburton has lost a "multibillion contract" and that the Army will "rebid" it which seems strange wording since, as the article notes, Halliburton's Iraq contracts with the US have included "no-bid contracts" with Halliburton. Can you re-bid what was a no-bid? Does the AP know more than they're telling?Meanwhile, the AFP is reporting that Parsons Global Services has also had its US military contract cancelled "due to cost overruns and incompetency". Shh. Can you hear that? The sound of hundred War Hawks sobbing.
And the US administration's walking scandal, Secretary of Defense Donnie Rumsfeld visited Iraq where he pompously declared, "I don't talk deadlines." Of course Tommy Franks infamously said "we don't do body counts" at the start of the illegal war and we now know that was a lie. (We know that. Big media and indymedia failed on that, but here we know the truth.) On June 26th, Nancy A. Youssef broke the story that the US was keeping a body count on Iraqi civilians. Lt. Gen. Peter Chiarelli went on the record and confirmed it, saying that it was a form of 'measurement' by the US and the US has been doing that since at least "last summer."
CNN reports that Rumsfeld, speaking inside a heavily guarded military base, declared,"Each time I come to Iraq, I see progress" -- revealing he is both a liar and blind.
Rumsfeld breezed through to pull the puppet's strings and Nouri al-Maliki stated, according to Reuters, that this was the Iraq's 'last chance for peace' -- which no doubt struck many in Iraq as strange since nothing resembling "peace" has been seen since the start of the illegal occupation.
But apparently feeling stand-up might be his next profession, after the US government tires of him and replaces with yet another prime minister, al-Maliki stated: "We all have a last chance to reconcile and agree among ourselves on avoiding conflict and blood. If we fail, God forbid, I don't know what the fate of Iraq will be" (CBS and AP).
The dire warning was in direct contrast to his stated remarks yesterday: "I don't see the country falling into a civil war despite the regrettable activities of certain people who ignore that Iraq is united . . . The security services are still in control of the situation and we would like to see matters move towards political (compromise) rather than resort to force" (AFP).
Possibly Rumsfeld pulled the strings too tight or else he's cracking up during the crackdown, but al-Maliki is also now threatening TV stations with being shut down. That move would be neither democratic nor smart. On the latter, Paul L. Bremer could explain to him the probable reaction when you try to shut down the press.
So that's the news you can use. As you'll note, I've delinked from "the site" that has the community so upset.
There are three reasons for that.
1) The site's new need to promote (or self-promote) by linking to a website that's not welcoming to women and is dismissive of them and abortion. In this day and age, any woman who cares about choice can't straddle the fence.
2) The fact that they refused to cover the body count story even when it was noted to them by a listener.
3) The fact that they never cleared up the misunderstanding (I still get e-mails on that, various people in the health care industry thanking me on that entry) involving an 'oath' that isn't an oath. My profession matters to me and I don't think journalism, as a profession, is in the business of spreading lies. The fact that it was never corrected (even when they had guests who could have) is insulting to me, to my profession and to the intelligence of the audience.
Mike stopped noting them last week, you probably noticed. That was due to the issue of the body count story not being noted. I told him before I left on vacation, I was fine with not covering them. He asked me about that. I shared with him my feelings on two and three above before I went on vacation.
They've been delinked.
Personally, I'm obviously very pro-choice and if you're promoting a site that's dismissive of the issue, that's dismissive of women ("women's studies" slurs when people rightly object, not all of them women, to a T&A ad you ran).
If Mike had decided to note them before I left, I would've returned with that being the plan. If they hadn't begun promoting that site (and self-promoting themselves?), I would've just bit my tongue but three strikes and you're out.
I'm not asking that anyone not listen or stop watching. Do what you want. But Sunny and I stopped listening after their second show on doctors when they refused to correct their earlier misinformation.
I have no idea what the host thinks of my profession. But I think journalism demands that you know your facts and, for whatever reason, the facts seem rather loose these days.
This is me, speaking for me. I just got off the phone with Mike and we are of the same mind. I haven't spoken to C.I. since I left on vacation. I would assume that C.I.'s not delinking. (As far as I know, no one's raised that issue with C.I. in a phone call or face to face. I do, however, know that every other community site has delinked except Kat who never linked to them to begin with.)
Betty called Rebecca yesterday and that's how I found out about the nonsense. Wally called Rebecca after I'd left today. But Mike filled me in that it's not a one time thing but a repeated thing in the "Daily Digest."
It's their right to promote whomever they want. I don't promote sites that are dismissive to women (I have self-respect, something the host may need to explore) so I can't in good faith link to that show anymore. I had intended to just ignore it. Mike and I would note two items that we'd discuss and that would be it. If Mike decided that the show was no longer worth noting, I would've kept the link.
But the decision was very clear to me when I learned of the "Daily Digest."
I don't know if they've lost the community. That's for each member to decide. But they have lost me on this. I was attempting to think on the vacation about whether or not I was taking the slam against my profession (implying that my profession is of less worth is slamming it) too personally? I never did sort that out and might not have had the issue of the promotion/self-promotion not arisen.
What I do know, because I had a message from Maria and I returned her call, there will be no more headlines at the site, the best of the week thing. Miguel was supposed to do them last week but said he wasn't interested due to coverage I missed so I won't comment on. Maria said she felt awful for turning C.I. down but that she was sick of the coverage. Finally, Francisco did a quick six as a result of a personal request from C.I.
Maria said she called to give C.I. the news and it wasn't a problem (that they're not doing it anymore). She wanted to check that with me and I said, my opinion, C.I. was personally disappointed but would understand since the issue that had them upset was their issue.
She asked me what I thought would happen? Before I left last week on vacation, there were already e-mails coming in from members saying drop the site as a result of their refusal to cover the Iraqi body count story. Some, like Rebecca, felt that the show was misinforming on Gaza. (Rebecca knows that issue. She took an interest in it years ago. I don't know the issue but if Rebecca's offering specifics, as she did during the coverage, you can be sure they're accurate.)
C.I. doesn't follow that issue as closely as other issues and explained that in the e-mail saying, "I might have asked the same questions she did. Or told it the way she did. I will agree that it was a mistake to have AIPAC on as a guest if you're not going to ask about the former members under investigation for spying for another government.") Kara and Brad were most vocal in the round-robin two weeks ago about how lousy the coverage of Gaza was as well. Kara and Brad are long term members. Their opinions do matter.
The show's now attempting some promotion/self-promotion relationship. That's their right. It's my right not to note them here and I won't.
Thank you to Sunny who did an amazing job. I'm sorry that this exploded when she was filling in. She was willing to attempt to address it but I told her not to bother. I assume there are some who remain dedicated to the show. If they're upset by what's going on community wise, they can write me. I didn't want Sunny getting nasty e-mails because she was filling in for me.
Her planned post that never came about was going to be on Mike and Wally. When I attend a conference and take another break, she's going to fill in again. (She said she had a lot of fun.) She intends to pick that topic up then.
Thank you to everyone for seeing how wonderful she is. We work together but she's also a friend. I know how nasty some of the e-mails can be and I'm happy to report none of those came in while Sunny was filling in.
I would love to try to grab a post tomorrow but I came back on Wednesday because of my Thursday night group. I'm exhausted and need to shower to get the 'plane feel' off my skin.
Iraq snapshot.
The daily life continues to be marred by chaos and violence. And apparently role playing Geoffrey Miller, Donald Rumsfeld went from Afghanistan to Iraq with violence following in his wake as he apparently pulled the strings of Nouri al-Maliki, US puppet of the illegal occupation.
As noted this morning: "AP is reporting that a bus station in Baghdad was stormed by 'gunmen' and at least 24 people were seized with at least 20 of those 24 being killed."
The AFP reports that 22 corpses were discovered ("Blindfolded, hands tied behind them, and most shot in the head") and that the number kidnapped was much larger than 24, "up to 80." For those who question that number, the AFP quotes "Senior Shiite MP Jaladdin al-Saghir" saying: "There was a very serious breach of security in Diyala province today when 60-80 Shiites were kidnapped from the bus station".
The AP reports, on the corpses discovered from the mass kidnapping, "Relatives wept over loved ones, with one man leaning over an open coffin and kissing the hand of a victim."
The AFP notes, of the continued violence in the the city where the "crackdown" is ongoing. "Violence in Baghdad has raged despite the fact that more than 50,000 troops, mostly Iraqi, have been patrolling the capital's streets since last month."
Other shootings? Reuters reports: "clashes . . . between Iraqi policemen and gunmen" in Baghdad that left a civilian and a police officer dead as well as two patrol cars burned; in Tikrit, a police officer was shot dead; in Kirkuk, a police officer was shot dead; and, in Baghdad, a "Baghdad University professor" was shot dead.
Bombings?
CBS and the AP report a car bomb exploding "near an Iraqi army base in Haswa" leaving eight wounded. Reuters notes that a civilian died in the blast (and spells it "Hasswa") and notes two bombs in Baghdad. One "suicide bomber" entered a restaurant, engaged the bomb killing himself and seven people while leaving twenty more wounded. Reuters also notes a roadside bomb that wounded three ("including a child").
Corpses?
Reuters reports that two corpses were found (carpenters) in Tikrit, while another corpse ("gunshot wounds and signs of torture") was discovered in Kirkuk.
As Dahr Jamail and others have noted, Iraqis are fleeing the country. The BBC offers the stories of three who have left (in their own words). The fleeing continues though the AP notes that "flyers circulated in a predominately Sunni area north of Baghdad, uring Shi'ite families no tto flee and warning people not to hurt members of the majority sect."
Meanwhile the AFP is reporting that 150 women "protested at Baghdad's Yamuk club and demanded that the former soldier Steven Green be tried as a 'war criminal.'" The former 101st Airborne Division Green was the first person arrested in the alleged rape and murder of 14 year-old Abeer Qasim Hamza al-Janabi as well as the murder of three of her family members. (That arrest, FOR THE RECORD, took place on Friday June 30th and not "last week" as too many keep misreporting.)
The Associated Press reports that following all the scandals, Dick Cheney's former company Halliburton has lost a "multibillion contract" and that the Army will "rebid" it which seems strange wording since, as the article notes, Halliburton's Iraq contracts with the US have included "no-bid contracts" with Halliburton. Can you re-bid what was a no-bid? Does the AP know more than they're telling?Meanwhile, the AFP is reporting that Parsons Global Services has also had its US military contract cancelled "due to cost overruns and incompetency". Shh. Can you hear that? The sound of hundred War Hawks sobbing.
And the US administration's walking scandal, Secretary of Defense Donnie Rumsfeld visited Iraq where he pompously declared, "I don't talk deadlines." Of course Tommy Franks infamously said "we don't do body counts" at the start of the illegal war and we now know that was a lie. (We know that. Big media and indymedia failed on that, but here we know the truth.) On June 26th, Nancy A. Youssef broke the story that the US was keeping a body count on Iraqi civilians. Lt. Gen. Peter Chiarelli went on the record and confirmed it, saying that it was a form of 'measurement' by the US and the US has been doing that since at least "last summer."
CNN reports that Rumsfeld, speaking inside a heavily guarded military base, declared,"Each time I come to Iraq, I see progress" -- revealing he is both a liar and blind.
Rumsfeld breezed through to pull the puppet's strings and Nouri al-Maliki stated, according to Reuters, that this was the Iraq's 'last chance for peace' -- which no doubt struck many in Iraq as strange since nothing resembling "peace" has been seen since the start of the illegal occupation.
But apparently feeling stand-up might be his next profession, after the US government tires of him and replaces with yet another prime minister, al-Maliki stated: "We all have a last chance to reconcile and agree among ourselves on avoiding conflict and blood. If we fail, God forbid, I don't know what the fate of Iraq will be" (CBS and AP).
The dire warning was in direct contrast to his stated remarks yesterday: "I don't see the country falling into a civil war despite the regrettable activities of certain people who ignore that Iraq is united . . . The security services are still in control of the situation and we would like to see matters move towards political (compromise) rather than resort to force" (AFP).
Possibly Rumsfeld pulled the strings too tight or else he's cracking up during the crackdown, but al-Maliki is also now threatening TV stations with being shut down. That move would be neither democratic nor smart. On the latter, Paul L. Bremer could explain to him the probable reaction when you try to shut down the press.
So that's the news you can use. As you'll note, I've delinked from "the site" that has the community so upset.
There are three reasons for that.
1) The site's new need to promote (or self-promote) by linking to a website that's not welcoming to women and is dismissive of them and abortion. In this day and age, any woman who cares about choice can't straddle the fence.
2) The fact that they refused to cover the body count story even when it was noted to them by a listener.
3) The fact that they never cleared up the misunderstanding (I still get e-mails on that, various people in the health care industry thanking me on that entry) involving an 'oath' that isn't an oath. My profession matters to me and I don't think journalism, as a profession, is in the business of spreading lies. The fact that it was never corrected (even when they had guests who could have) is insulting to me, to my profession and to the intelligence of the audience.
Mike stopped noting them last week, you probably noticed. That was due to the issue of the body count story not being noted. I told him before I left on vacation, I was fine with not covering them. He asked me about that. I shared with him my feelings on two and three above before I went on vacation.
They've been delinked.
Personally, I'm obviously very pro-choice and if you're promoting a site that's dismissive of the issue, that's dismissive of women ("women's studies" slurs when people rightly object, not all of them women, to a T&A ad you ran).
If Mike had decided to note them before I left, I would've returned with that being the plan. If they hadn't begun promoting that site (and self-promoting themselves?), I would've just bit my tongue but three strikes and you're out.
I'm not asking that anyone not listen or stop watching. Do what you want. But Sunny and I stopped listening after their second show on doctors when they refused to correct their earlier misinformation.
I have no idea what the host thinks of my profession. But I think journalism demands that you know your facts and, for whatever reason, the facts seem rather loose these days.
This is me, speaking for me. I just got off the phone with Mike and we are of the same mind. I haven't spoken to C.I. since I left on vacation. I would assume that C.I.'s not delinking. (As far as I know, no one's raised that issue with C.I. in a phone call or face to face. I do, however, know that every other community site has delinked except Kat who never linked to them to begin with.)
Betty called Rebecca yesterday and that's how I found out about the nonsense. Wally called Rebecca after I'd left today. But Mike filled me in that it's not a one time thing but a repeated thing in the "Daily Digest."
It's their right to promote whomever they want. I don't promote sites that are dismissive to women (I have self-respect, something the host may need to explore) so I can't in good faith link to that show anymore. I had intended to just ignore it. Mike and I would note two items that we'd discuss and that would be it. If Mike decided that the show was no longer worth noting, I would've kept the link.
But the decision was very clear to me when I learned of the "Daily Digest."
I don't know if they've lost the community. That's for each member to decide. But they have lost me on this. I was attempting to think on the vacation about whether or not I was taking the slam against my profession (implying that my profession is of less worth is slamming it) too personally? I never did sort that out and might not have had the issue of the promotion/self-promotion not arisen.
What I do know, because I had a message from Maria and I returned her call, there will be no more headlines at the site, the best of the week thing. Miguel was supposed to do them last week but said he wasn't interested due to coverage I missed so I won't comment on. Maria said she felt awful for turning C.I. down but that she was sick of the coverage. Finally, Francisco did a quick six as a result of a personal request from C.I.
Maria said she called to give C.I. the news and it wasn't a problem (that they're not doing it anymore). She wanted to check that with me and I said, my opinion, C.I. was personally disappointed but would understand since the issue that had them upset was their issue.
She asked me what I thought would happen? Before I left last week on vacation, there were already e-mails coming in from members saying drop the site as a result of their refusal to cover the Iraqi body count story. Some, like Rebecca, felt that the show was misinforming on Gaza. (Rebecca knows that issue. She took an interest in it years ago. I don't know the issue but if Rebecca's offering specifics, as she did during the coverage, you can be sure they're accurate.)
C.I. doesn't follow that issue as closely as other issues and explained that in the e-mail saying, "I might have asked the same questions she did. Or told it the way she did. I will agree that it was a mistake to have AIPAC on as a guest if you're not going to ask about the former members under investigation for spying for another government.") Kara and Brad were most vocal in the round-robin two weeks ago about how lousy the coverage of Gaza was as well. Kara and Brad are long term members. Their opinions do matter.
The show's now attempting some promotion/self-promotion relationship. That's their right. It's my right not to note them here and I won't.
Thank you to Sunny who did an amazing job. I'm sorry that this exploded when she was filling in. She was willing to attempt to address it but I told her not to bother. I assume there are some who remain dedicated to the show. If they're upset by what's going on community wise, they can write me. I didn't want Sunny getting nasty e-mails because she was filling in for me.
Her planned post that never came about was going to be on Mike and Wally. When I attend a conference and take another break, she's going to fill in again. (She said she had a lot of fun.) She intends to pick that topic up then.
Thank you to everyone for seeing how wonderful she is. We work together but she's also a friend. I know how nasty some of the e-mails can be and I'm happy to report none of those came in while Sunny was filling in.
I would love to try to grab a post tomorrow but I came back on Wednesday because of my Thursday night group. I'm exhausted and need to shower to get the 'plane feel' off my skin.
Monday, July 10, 2006
About C.I.
Sunny here posting late. Ramon and I went to see Johnny Depp's new film tonight. (I liked it, he didn't.) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
So tonight I'm writing about C.I. and noting that these are my opinions. (The only thing C.I. requested.) When I wrote about Rebecca, I mentioned that C.I. calls and always tries to keep it very brief.
So let me talk about the first meeting.
C.I. was speaking in the area and Elaine had told me to expect a drop by. I did and was still surprised because C.I. really grabs a room. Even when it's empty, it comes to life. I explained Elaine was finishing up her last session and it would be about a half-hour more after we exchanged greetings.
C.I. went over to the couch in the waiting room and I pulled out my compact and acted like I had was checking my eye make up because I didn't want to stare obviously. The second C.I. sat on the couch, it was like all the exhaustion just poured out. I couldn't believe that the person who had been so alive in front of me was the same person sitting on the couch. Elaine says C.I. can swith it "on" and "off" like that in a split second. There were about two minutes of quiet and then the cell phone starts ringing and it's one call after another and the minute C.I. answered the first call it was "on." I listened on one and it was someone asking about speaking because C.I. said sure provided it was early tomorrow or later in the day.
Do I need to back up? C.I. speaks to college and high school groups (and who knows who else) against the war and has been doing that repeatedly each month for three years now.
So I listened in to the one side of the first call and then felt bad because I had seen the "off" moment and knew how tired C.I. was. I put up my compact and started surfing around on the net. Then C.I. approached and asked if it was okay to use the fax to send something out?
I said of course and something like "It's Elaine fax." People, friends of her's who drop by tend to use it all the time (except Rebecca who's more likely to talk on the phone than fax something). C.I. said something to the effect of the fax was my in area. The point C.I. was making was that this was my turf and, to be real honest, no one does that. They usually say "I'm faxing" as they walk over to the machine. I already liked C.I. but I really appreciated that.
There wasn't any need for it and I'm not trying to insult anyone who never asked (but no one ever did before or since other than this one person). So that's one of the things that stands out most to me.
So when Elaine finished her session, they were getting ready to grab some dinner and catch up. (They're old friends from college in case anyone's never visited this site or Rebecca's or C.I.'s before. All three went to college together.) (And Rebecca had tickets to a play that evening in case anyone's wondering where she pops in.) So Elaine invites me along because Elaine's very polite and I beg off but C.I. invites me as well and says it will either be fun or boring as they trip down memory lane.
It was a lot of fun but there's a third setting to C.I. I told that to Elaine after and she laughed. This setting is "Don't bother me." And C.I. sent out that vibe several times. Not to Elaine or me but to people who would look over at our table. It's really weird to see because C.I. had the sunglasses on and I know people who can shoot a look like that. Before Joyce was married, we'd go to the clubs together and if some jerk was coming up to the table, she'd shoot him a look to shoo him away. But C.I. can do that "look" without the eyes. And can turn it off and on in a split-second.
They went back to Elaine's after and I was going to head on my way but they both insisted I come up for a little while. I ended up staying three hours. This was much more fun. For one thing, C.I. ate (not big on eating in public) and laughed freely. It was obvious that C.I. was on edge earlier. This was much more relaxed and it was a lot of fun.
That may seem weird because the topic was Iraq for about half the three hours. I haven't heard it when C.I. speaks to a group (I want to) but I can see that's effective if it's anything like when we were all talking because it was never "Well here's how it is and I'm going to speak to you for the next" whatever. It was a conversation (and Elaine says that's how the talks are, that it's not C.I. standing up and delivering a lecture).
So that was the meeting and there would be many calls to the office after that with C.I. leaving a message for Elaine several times a week (always ending with, "Tell her this can wait. It's nothing urgent.") and not a lot of chit-chat. I knew, from the time in the waiting room, that it's pretty much one call after another. So I was surprised when C.I. called one day and asked me when I didn't mention I was going out to California the following week on a vacation?
C.I. hadn't been the only one being 'business like,' I realized. I had too.
So I talked about my schedule and how I was coming out with my cousin. C.I. asked where I was staying and I mentioned the hotel. That's when C.I. says, "If you want, you can stay here. I'm gone that whole week."
I immediately said no, thank you but C.I. said, "I called you. I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it."
And it was such a big help because this was our vacation and it would mean no hotel expense. So I said sure. C.I. said Elaine had a set of keys and knew the security code so to get that from her and the only thing was, if anything got broken, just leave a note. "Do not worry about it. The only thing that ever makes me mad is if I find something broken. Just leave a note and it's not a big deal. Help yourself to whatever you need."
I asked Elaine about that because I thought, "Does C.I. think I'm an elephant in china shop, knocking everything over?" But Elaine explained that a mutal friend (not Rebecca) had broken a few dishes and that wasn't a big deal except that there was no note. Elaine said, "C.I. has too much and doesn't care if something's broken" but doesn't like finding out about it via "hunt and seek." She warned me also to stack any CDs I listened to or books I read instead of reshelving them.
So my cousin and I get the rent a car at the airport and we're using Elaine's directions and find it.
The outside was intimidating and I also screwed up the security code on the first try. But after we were inside and I got the code right, we were looking around and it was so much more warm on the inside. (When I told Elaine two weeks ago that I'd probably write about this, she said to note that because she thinks that's "key" to C.I. She also said to add that C.I. would laugh and call that "psycho-babble.")
We didn't break anything. So we didn't have to leave a note about that but we did say thank you. It was so nice. I'm not going to talk about what's in someone's house because even with the "This is my opinion" qualifier, I think that would be a little rude. But I will note, outside of a library, I've never seen so many bookcases. I asked Elaine after how anyone reads all those books and Elaine said C.I.'s an insomniac. Even so. There was a little place where some 'honors' were but I didn't see any degrees anywhere and Elaine told me to put this in. Over the years, C.I. has moved a great deal and one time Elaine was there in the midst of a move, years and years ago, and she found C.I.'s masters, unframed, under a desk with drawers. I'm not going to word this delicately: it has a piece of turtle crap on it. (C.I. had a pet turtle at the time.) Elaine said, "What is your masters degree doing under the desk?" and was trying to scrape off the turtle crap with a pencil. C.I. took it from her and just tossed it in the trash. So Elaine's stunned and asking where the bachelors is and C.I. says that thing probably got lost X number of moves ago. "I'm not a doctor or a lawyer, there's no need for me to frame my degrees and display them."
Elaine says she still can't believe that but it reminded her of when C.I. was invited to join an honor's society and only ended up in it because someone else paid the fee behind C.I.'s back because they thought, "Nobody turns down this." C.I. had no interest. I like that story because my brother, who is ten years older, has an associates and he can never stop mentioning that. If you disagree with him, he tosses it out. If he's making a point, he says, "Well, when I was in college, we learned . . ." I don't think C.I.'s ever brought up college around me except to tell a funny story about something the three of them did or someone they knew.
What was around the house were all these notes. "Sunny, I'm not kidding, eat anything you want, the food will go bad." "Sunny, seriously, drink anything you want." There were notes about how we could sleep in any of the rooms.
Elaine explained that the notes can be done at anytime and that C.I.'s like that in "calmer times" (non-war) verbally but with all that's going on these days, there's just not time.
So it was just really wonderful staying there. My cousin was impressed but I won't pretend I wasn't. It was also very nice.
And there have been many nice things since. I avoided mentioning things to C.I. thinking that would help but it would only result in a call to Elaine along the lines of, "Is Sunny's birthday coming up? It seems like it is?"
I was convinced from that and other things that C.I. had to be psychic. Elaine explained that no, it was just that C.I. listens and hears what gets said and what doesn't. Which is how I ended up with money to fix my car but I only accepted after we both agreed I would pay it back.
But whatever the topic is, that's not discussed, C.I. just seems to pick up on it. Elaine called me in one evening and said, "You're in love with Ramon?" We'd just been dating for two weekends and still getting to know each other. I hadn't told Elaine, Joyce or my mother that I was thinking Ramon was someone I really thought I had fallen for. They knew I thought he was hot but he is hot and what's the point in hiding that?
I asked her, "How did you know?" She said she just returned C.I.'s phone call. I don't even remember mentioning Ramon and I know I didn't say anything along the lines of how I felt about him.
Joyce said if I was going to write about that part I had to share her story. The last time C.I. came through (back in April), Joyce and I both hung out with Elaine and C.I. We were having a deep conversation and also be silly. And at one point, C.I. sighed and said, out of the blue to Joyce, "Do you want to talk about that?" I'm thinking, "Talk about what?"
Joyce said just looking at C.I., "I knew exactly." She said she really did want to talk about it but it was hard and C.I. said it happens to a lot of people and I'm thinking, "What?" I look over at Elaine and she's got a look like where's the conversation going but not looking really surprised.
Joyce ended up opening up about being sexually abused when she was ten. We hadn't even discussed sexual abuse. The most that had been said by Joyce was three sentences about her childhood. But somehow C.I. got enough from what wasn't said to ask, "Was it by a family member?" and Joyce just opened up.
She never told me about it or anyone. We met in first grade but when she was nine, her family moved off for two years. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that my best friend had something like that happen to her and she'd never talked about it in her whole life.
She's glad she talked about and she went to a friend of Elaine's after to talk about it some more. She says it's like such a weight lifted off her shoulders. I can't imagine how awful that was for her, both what happened and not talking about it for years and years. She says she had tried to talk about it several times but never could until that night.
Elaine told me after that sometimes that moment (she called it a 'click') will hit C.I. after and when I read Rebecca talking about how she'd tried to keep her miscarriage a secret because she didn't want everyone focused on that, I knew where the story was going. (Which was the topic changed, they were all working on an edition of The Third Estate Sunday Review, which I've got some news on in a bit, and she'd just said, like she'd written that Saturday, that she'd had cramps and left it to people to assume she was just getting her period.) I knew C.I. was going to pop in there and wasn't surprised when I read the part about C.I. saying out of the blue, "You didn't get your period, you had a miscarriage." Elaine told me, after Rebecca wrote about it, that C.I. said it slowly and didn't realize what had just been said until after it was said.
It can be spooky. I tried doing that, listening to what people were saying and trying to figure out what wasn't being said but I didn't have much luck with it. Elaine said C.I. scored in the top ten percent of the country on the GRE in the analytical section. (The GRE's like the SAT's but for graduate school.)
She was asked to consult on a case (and I can write about this with her permission) and she couldn't figure out what happened. There were two teenage boys who were in a setting where they, and other boys, lived together. Something happened. One boy accused the other of rape and the other boy said he was gay and they had sex together. Parents got involved, there was talk of a law suit.
Elaine was brought in as a consultant. The victim wouldn't speak about it. After he accused the other boy of rape, he told his parents about it and then wouldn't talk about it at all. For weeks. He did draw a few pictures in sessions. He would ignore Elaine or the other doctor and just draw. The other guy kept insisting that it wasn't rape.
Elaine faxed the drawings to C.I. one day and didn't explain anything about them.
C.I. calls back and says who ever drew them is talented. Elaine asks if C.I. sees anything in the drawings. So C.I.'s on the phone just talking about the ink strokes and the pencil strokes, the boy would just grab paper and whatever was on the desk during a session and start drawing while ignoring the doctor.
C.I. looks at one of a boy sitting on the roof and I thought that was just a kid enjoying the sun.
C.I. said something. Elaine calls me into the office and asks C.I. to say that again on speaker phone and that I'm going to take notes.
C.I. says the kid in the drawing is upset. Then a few seconds later, that the kid has to make a decision but he's afraid. Then that the kid's thinking of killing himself. Elaine says to go to the next drawing and C.I. starts talking about the drawing and after a bit says, "This is . . . this kid . . . Was this drawn by a boy?" Elaine says yes and C.I. says he's slept with another boy and he can't deal with it. Then on the third drawing that the kid's feels trapped and starts pointing to something in the drawing and saying that represents the lies.
So the short version is that Elaine talks to the boy and gets him to open up. He wasn't raped. Charges are dropped against the other boy. The other doctor and the boy and his family dealt with the rest of it. But that's what I mean by spooky.
Things that I would never notice get picked up on. Elaine says that's why C.I. doesn't read much fiction -- it's always obvious who the writer is. She said C.I. can usually tell you about an author's life if you read three pages, without identifying the book or the author, over the phone.
It's a great gift. I don't mean "gift" like ESP or supernatural. It's just from being observant but who pays that kind of attention? I don't.
Elaine says she's never tried to keep a secret because C.I. can always tell by what she doesn't say when something's wrong. And Rebecca's told me about this (and written about so I'm sure she won't care if I mention it here) when her first marriage broke up, she was upset but just said she didn't want to talk about it and twenty minutes later, out of the blue, C.I. says, "He was gay and he came out to you." After Rebecca mentioned that at her site, I asked her if he seemed gay and she said, "Would I have married him if he seemed gay?" I love Rebecca because she's funny but you really have to hear her say something like that to get how funny she is.
Rebecca also added that if C.I.'s tired, do not try to keep a secret. And if you're not a friend and you invent a story, half-way in C.I. will call you on it. (There's a mutual friend the three of them have who lives in the land of delusion, according to Rebecca, and C.I. never calls her on that even though all three know every friend she mentions and every event is made up.) She said what happened with Joyce used to happen all the time in college and that once there was a woman who for three hours talked around something and kept them all up past midnight hemming and hawwing until finally C.I. said, "Do you want to talk about the rape or not?" She said when C.I.'s tired and you're not a friend, get to the point in a reasonable amount of time or C.I. will get you there.
So that's the C.I. story. Now let me talk quickly about The Third Estate Sunday Review because I always hear about it from Elaine or at the sites and was always curious. Saturday I got to listen to some of it. I had mentioned it to Wally, about being interested, and they were all cool with it. There is a lot of talking about what will be written. Once it's written, there's a lot of discussion about whether or not a point can be supported. Not in terms of facts, they know what they're writing about. But in terms of can they personally agree with the way something's worded. C.I. will say flat out, "I cannot have my name on a statement like that because" and will list off members of the community. Ava and C.I. will both say that about statements that they think could be misread. Jim enjoys the whole thing. I think he enjoys the back and forth more than the writing. Or like, there was talk of writing a story about fasting because all of them fasted on the Fourth but then it was brought up that Elaine and Rebecca did as well and they might want to add input on that. It's interesting to see what gets passed their vetting stage and what doesn't for a lot of different reasons. When I got off the phone they told me to expect only half the things discussed to show up online and that about a fourth of what didn't would get put into the print edition. And that's pretty much how it turned out.
I'll put in C.I.'s "Iraq snaphot" now because I'm not sure I was serious enough tonight. Elaine's always more prepared and I'm afraid I may be driving away her readers with each passing day. She comes back Wednesday.
Violence and chaos continue.
Bombings, shootings, corpses, kidnappings -- characteristics of daily life in Iraq -- continue while the miliary releases the name of the five US troops charged this weekend in the Mahmoudiya incident and Iraq attempts to overturn the immunity law that exempts suspects from being charged in and by Iraq (foreign troops and contractors).
Bombings.
The AFP notes that a car bomb in Baghdad killed at least ten and left at least fifty-one wounded. The Associated Press notes that this car bomb happened "near a repair shop on the edge of . . . Sadr City". Al Jazeera notes the second bombing which occurred "outside a restaurant near the central bank in central Baghdad" resulting in at least six dead and at least 28 wounded. A third bomb, roadside, resulted in the wounding of five police officers according to Reuters.
Also in Baghdad, CBS and AP note that a bus was "ambushed" with the seven people on it killed (six passengers and the driver) and the bus set on fire.
As Brian Edwards-Tiekert noted today on KPFA's The Morning Show, "violence came despite a security crackdown in the capital raising new questions about the effectiveness of the police and Iraqi army."
Outside of Baghdad, Al Jazeera notes a roadside bomb in Hillah killed one police officer and wounded four while, in Kirkuk, "a sucide truck bomb struck an office of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan" leaving five dead and twelve wounded. Reuters reports a roadside bomb in Yusifya that took the life of one person and left two more wounded; and a car bomb in Baquba that left eleven wounded. CBS and the AP note a bomb in Mahmoudiya that left ten wounded and a car bomb in Ramadi that wounded four US troops.
Shootings?
The BBC notes that Adnan Iskandar al-Mahdawi ("member of the provincial council in Diyala province") is dead as a result of a drive-by. CBS and AP report that, in Baghdad, a doctor was "forced . . . out of his car . . . and killed in front of his family."Reuters notes two attacks in Baghdad -- one which left three police officers dead and wounded another and a second where two "bodyguards of a judge" were killed and three were wounded.
Corpses?
Reuters reports five corpses were found in Suwayra, one in Kut ("shotgun wounds") and one near Dugail ("gunshot wounds . . . signs of torture") while CBS and AP note the discovery of "two bullet-riddled" corpses in Baghdad and notes five corpses, not one, discovered in Kut.
Reuters notes that "an agriculture official" was kidnapped in Dujail.
The Associated Press reports that the latest five charged in the incident involving the alleged rape of 14-year-old Abeer Qassim Hamza as well as her murder, and that of three members of her family, are Paul E. Cortez, Anthony W. Yribe, James P. Barker, Jesse V. Spielman, and Bryan L. Howard. Yribe is identified as the one who, as Amy Goodman noted on Democracy Now!, is "charged with dereliction of duty for failing to report the crime." The AP notes that "[t]he others face more serious charges as participants" as well as the fact that two of the five charged are sergeants (Cortez and Yribe). The five join Steven D. Green who was charged on June 30th.
The names of the five are released as Mariam Karouny (Reuters) reports that the US crafted laws for Iraq are facing a challenge according to Wigdan Michael (human rights minister in Iraq) who states "We're very serious about" requesting the "United Nations . . . end immunity from local law for U.S. troops". Michael tells Karouny: "One of the reasons for this is the U.N. resolution, which gives the multinational force soldiers immunity. Without punishment, you get violations. This happens when there is no punishment."
In peace news, Amy Goodman and Medea Benjamin discussed the Troops Home Fast today. Benjamin stated: ". . . we think this fast is one way that they can do it. We've had people who have read about the fast in the paper, and they're in West Palm Beach, for example, and just jumped on a plane and came and joined us. We have a woman from Vancouver, in Washington state, who heard about the fast and decided that she had to do something more, came and joined us for this week. People who thought they were going to fast for one day have ended up fasting for the entire week and are going into their second week. This can really be a catalyst if people join. Every day we have hundreds more signing up on the troopshomefast.org website and saying they want to participate."
In other peace news, Ehren Watada's mother Carolyn Ho has stated, of her son's refusal to deploy to Iraq for the illegal war, "He is sending that message to all the armed forces, the message that they need to examine carefully the war they are choosing to fight." Ehren's father, Bob Watada, is comparing the fight against the charges the military has brought against his son to a competition and tells Alyssa S. Navares (Honolulu Star Bulletin), "I have always been one of those dads at every game and practice . . . Although I whip him in a singles match, together we pravail on the court. And trust me, we're going to do it again when we fight these charges."
Finally, Reuters is reporting that 200 ex-police officers ("fired . . . for forgery and bribery") stormed the Muthanna governor's office "demanding they be reinstated in their jobs in the southern city of Samawa, the capital of Muthanna province."
So tonight I'm writing about C.I. and noting that these are my opinions. (The only thing C.I. requested.) When I wrote about Rebecca, I mentioned that C.I. calls and always tries to keep it very brief.
So let me talk about the first meeting.
C.I. was speaking in the area and Elaine had told me to expect a drop by. I did and was still surprised because C.I. really grabs a room. Even when it's empty, it comes to life. I explained Elaine was finishing up her last session and it would be about a half-hour more after we exchanged greetings.
C.I. went over to the couch in the waiting room and I pulled out my compact and acted like I had was checking my eye make up because I didn't want to stare obviously. The second C.I. sat on the couch, it was like all the exhaustion just poured out. I couldn't believe that the person who had been so alive in front of me was the same person sitting on the couch. Elaine says C.I. can swith it "on" and "off" like that in a split second. There were about two minutes of quiet and then the cell phone starts ringing and it's one call after another and the minute C.I. answered the first call it was "on." I listened on one and it was someone asking about speaking because C.I. said sure provided it was early tomorrow or later in the day.
Do I need to back up? C.I. speaks to college and high school groups (and who knows who else) against the war and has been doing that repeatedly each month for three years now.
So I listened in to the one side of the first call and then felt bad because I had seen the "off" moment and knew how tired C.I. was. I put up my compact and started surfing around on the net. Then C.I. approached and asked if it was okay to use the fax to send something out?
I said of course and something like "It's Elaine fax." People, friends of her's who drop by tend to use it all the time (except Rebecca who's more likely to talk on the phone than fax something). C.I. said something to the effect of the fax was my in area. The point C.I. was making was that this was my turf and, to be real honest, no one does that. They usually say "I'm faxing" as they walk over to the machine. I already liked C.I. but I really appreciated that.
There wasn't any need for it and I'm not trying to insult anyone who never asked (but no one ever did before or since other than this one person). So that's one of the things that stands out most to me.
So when Elaine finished her session, they were getting ready to grab some dinner and catch up. (They're old friends from college in case anyone's never visited this site or Rebecca's or C.I.'s before. All three went to college together.) (And Rebecca had tickets to a play that evening in case anyone's wondering where she pops in.) So Elaine invites me along because Elaine's very polite and I beg off but C.I. invites me as well and says it will either be fun or boring as they trip down memory lane.
It was a lot of fun but there's a third setting to C.I. I told that to Elaine after and she laughed. This setting is "Don't bother me." And C.I. sent out that vibe several times. Not to Elaine or me but to people who would look over at our table. It's really weird to see because C.I. had the sunglasses on and I know people who can shoot a look like that. Before Joyce was married, we'd go to the clubs together and if some jerk was coming up to the table, she'd shoot him a look to shoo him away. But C.I. can do that "look" without the eyes. And can turn it off and on in a split-second.
They went back to Elaine's after and I was going to head on my way but they both insisted I come up for a little while. I ended up staying three hours. This was much more fun. For one thing, C.I. ate (not big on eating in public) and laughed freely. It was obvious that C.I. was on edge earlier. This was much more relaxed and it was a lot of fun.
That may seem weird because the topic was Iraq for about half the three hours. I haven't heard it when C.I. speaks to a group (I want to) but I can see that's effective if it's anything like when we were all talking because it was never "Well here's how it is and I'm going to speak to you for the next" whatever. It was a conversation (and Elaine says that's how the talks are, that it's not C.I. standing up and delivering a lecture).
So that was the meeting and there would be many calls to the office after that with C.I. leaving a message for Elaine several times a week (always ending with, "Tell her this can wait. It's nothing urgent.") and not a lot of chit-chat. I knew, from the time in the waiting room, that it's pretty much one call after another. So I was surprised when C.I. called one day and asked me when I didn't mention I was going out to California the following week on a vacation?
C.I. hadn't been the only one being 'business like,' I realized. I had too.
So I talked about my schedule and how I was coming out with my cousin. C.I. asked where I was staying and I mentioned the hotel. That's when C.I. says, "If you want, you can stay here. I'm gone that whole week."
I immediately said no, thank you but C.I. said, "I called you. I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it."
And it was such a big help because this was our vacation and it would mean no hotel expense. So I said sure. C.I. said Elaine had a set of keys and knew the security code so to get that from her and the only thing was, if anything got broken, just leave a note. "Do not worry about it. The only thing that ever makes me mad is if I find something broken. Just leave a note and it's not a big deal. Help yourself to whatever you need."
I asked Elaine about that because I thought, "Does C.I. think I'm an elephant in china shop, knocking everything over?" But Elaine explained that a mutal friend (not Rebecca) had broken a few dishes and that wasn't a big deal except that there was no note. Elaine said, "C.I. has too much and doesn't care if something's broken" but doesn't like finding out about it via "hunt and seek." She warned me also to stack any CDs I listened to or books I read instead of reshelving them.
So my cousin and I get the rent a car at the airport and we're using Elaine's directions and find it.
The outside was intimidating and I also screwed up the security code on the first try. But after we were inside and I got the code right, we were looking around and it was so much more warm on the inside. (When I told Elaine two weeks ago that I'd probably write about this, she said to note that because she thinks that's "key" to C.I. She also said to add that C.I. would laugh and call that "psycho-babble.")
We didn't break anything. So we didn't have to leave a note about that but we did say thank you. It was so nice. I'm not going to talk about what's in someone's house because even with the "This is my opinion" qualifier, I think that would be a little rude. But I will note, outside of a library, I've never seen so many bookcases. I asked Elaine after how anyone reads all those books and Elaine said C.I.'s an insomniac. Even so. There was a little place where some 'honors' were but I didn't see any degrees anywhere and Elaine told me to put this in. Over the years, C.I. has moved a great deal and one time Elaine was there in the midst of a move, years and years ago, and she found C.I.'s masters, unframed, under a desk with drawers. I'm not going to word this delicately: it has a piece of turtle crap on it. (C.I. had a pet turtle at the time.) Elaine said, "What is your masters degree doing under the desk?" and was trying to scrape off the turtle crap with a pencil. C.I. took it from her and just tossed it in the trash. So Elaine's stunned and asking where the bachelors is and C.I. says that thing probably got lost X number of moves ago. "I'm not a doctor or a lawyer, there's no need for me to frame my degrees and display them."
Elaine says she still can't believe that but it reminded her of when C.I. was invited to join an honor's society and only ended up in it because someone else paid the fee behind C.I.'s back because they thought, "Nobody turns down this." C.I. had no interest. I like that story because my brother, who is ten years older, has an associates and he can never stop mentioning that. If you disagree with him, he tosses it out. If he's making a point, he says, "Well, when I was in college, we learned . . ." I don't think C.I.'s ever brought up college around me except to tell a funny story about something the three of them did or someone they knew.
What was around the house were all these notes. "Sunny, I'm not kidding, eat anything you want, the food will go bad." "Sunny, seriously, drink anything you want." There were notes about how we could sleep in any of the rooms.
Elaine explained that the notes can be done at anytime and that C.I.'s like that in "calmer times" (non-war) verbally but with all that's going on these days, there's just not time.
So it was just really wonderful staying there. My cousin was impressed but I won't pretend I wasn't. It was also very nice.
And there have been many nice things since. I avoided mentioning things to C.I. thinking that would help but it would only result in a call to Elaine along the lines of, "Is Sunny's birthday coming up? It seems like it is?"
I was convinced from that and other things that C.I. had to be psychic. Elaine explained that no, it was just that C.I. listens and hears what gets said and what doesn't. Which is how I ended up with money to fix my car but I only accepted after we both agreed I would pay it back.
But whatever the topic is, that's not discussed, C.I. just seems to pick up on it. Elaine called me in one evening and said, "You're in love with Ramon?" We'd just been dating for two weekends and still getting to know each other. I hadn't told Elaine, Joyce or my mother that I was thinking Ramon was someone I really thought I had fallen for. They knew I thought he was hot but he is hot and what's the point in hiding that?
I asked her, "How did you know?" She said she just returned C.I.'s phone call. I don't even remember mentioning Ramon and I know I didn't say anything along the lines of how I felt about him.
Joyce said if I was going to write about that part I had to share her story. The last time C.I. came through (back in April), Joyce and I both hung out with Elaine and C.I. We were having a deep conversation and also be silly. And at one point, C.I. sighed and said, out of the blue to Joyce, "Do you want to talk about that?" I'm thinking, "Talk about what?"
Joyce said just looking at C.I., "I knew exactly." She said she really did want to talk about it but it was hard and C.I. said it happens to a lot of people and I'm thinking, "What?" I look over at Elaine and she's got a look like where's the conversation going but not looking really surprised.
Joyce ended up opening up about being sexually abused when she was ten. We hadn't even discussed sexual abuse. The most that had been said by Joyce was three sentences about her childhood. But somehow C.I. got enough from what wasn't said to ask, "Was it by a family member?" and Joyce just opened up.
She never told me about it or anyone. We met in first grade but when she was nine, her family moved off for two years. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that my best friend had something like that happen to her and she'd never talked about it in her whole life.
She's glad she talked about and she went to a friend of Elaine's after to talk about it some more. She says it's like such a weight lifted off her shoulders. I can't imagine how awful that was for her, both what happened and not talking about it for years and years. She says she had tried to talk about it several times but never could until that night.
Elaine told me after that sometimes that moment (she called it a 'click') will hit C.I. after and when I read Rebecca talking about how she'd tried to keep her miscarriage a secret because she didn't want everyone focused on that, I knew where the story was going. (Which was the topic changed, they were all working on an edition of The Third Estate Sunday Review, which I've got some news on in a bit, and she'd just said, like she'd written that Saturday, that she'd had cramps and left it to people to assume she was just getting her period.) I knew C.I. was going to pop in there and wasn't surprised when I read the part about C.I. saying out of the blue, "You didn't get your period, you had a miscarriage." Elaine told me, after Rebecca wrote about it, that C.I. said it slowly and didn't realize what had just been said until after it was said.
It can be spooky. I tried doing that, listening to what people were saying and trying to figure out what wasn't being said but I didn't have much luck with it. Elaine said C.I. scored in the top ten percent of the country on the GRE in the analytical section. (The GRE's like the SAT's but for graduate school.)
She was asked to consult on a case (and I can write about this with her permission) and she couldn't figure out what happened. There were two teenage boys who were in a setting where they, and other boys, lived together. Something happened. One boy accused the other of rape and the other boy said he was gay and they had sex together. Parents got involved, there was talk of a law suit.
Elaine was brought in as a consultant. The victim wouldn't speak about it. After he accused the other boy of rape, he told his parents about it and then wouldn't talk about it at all. For weeks. He did draw a few pictures in sessions. He would ignore Elaine or the other doctor and just draw. The other guy kept insisting that it wasn't rape.
Elaine faxed the drawings to C.I. one day and didn't explain anything about them.
C.I. calls back and says who ever drew them is talented. Elaine asks if C.I. sees anything in the drawings. So C.I.'s on the phone just talking about the ink strokes and the pencil strokes, the boy would just grab paper and whatever was on the desk during a session and start drawing while ignoring the doctor.
C.I. looks at one of a boy sitting on the roof and I thought that was just a kid enjoying the sun.
C.I. said something. Elaine calls me into the office and asks C.I. to say that again on speaker phone and that I'm going to take notes.
C.I. says the kid in the drawing is upset. Then a few seconds later, that the kid has to make a decision but he's afraid. Then that the kid's thinking of killing himself. Elaine says to go to the next drawing and C.I. starts talking about the drawing and after a bit says, "This is . . . this kid . . . Was this drawn by a boy?" Elaine says yes and C.I. says he's slept with another boy and he can't deal with it. Then on the third drawing that the kid's feels trapped and starts pointing to something in the drawing and saying that represents the lies.
So the short version is that Elaine talks to the boy and gets him to open up. He wasn't raped. Charges are dropped against the other boy. The other doctor and the boy and his family dealt with the rest of it. But that's what I mean by spooky.
Things that I would never notice get picked up on. Elaine says that's why C.I. doesn't read much fiction -- it's always obvious who the writer is. She said C.I. can usually tell you about an author's life if you read three pages, without identifying the book or the author, over the phone.
It's a great gift. I don't mean "gift" like ESP or supernatural. It's just from being observant but who pays that kind of attention? I don't.
Elaine says she's never tried to keep a secret because C.I. can always tell by what she doesn't say when something's wrong. And Rebecca's told me about this (and written about so I'm sure she won't care if I mention it here) when her first marriage broke up, she was upset but just said she didn't want to talk about it and twenty minutes later, out of the blue, C.I. says, "He was gay and he came out to you." After Rebecca mentioned that at her site, I asked her if he seemed gay and she said, "Would I have married him if he seemed gay?" I love Rebecca because she's funny but you really have to hear her say something like that to get how funny she is.
Rebecca also added that if C.I.'s tired, do not try to keep a secret. And if you're not a friend and you invent a story, half-way in C.I. will call you on it. (There's a mutual friend the three of them have who lives in the land of delusion, according to Rebecca, and C.I. never calls her on that even though all three know every friend she mentions and every event is made up.) She said what happened with Joyce used to happen all the time in college and that once there was a woman who for three hours talked around something and kept them all up past midnight hemming and hawwing until finally C.I. said, "Do you want to talk about the rape or not?" She said when C.I.'s tired and you're not a friend, get to the point in a reasonable amount of time or C.I. will get you there.
So that's the C.I. story. Now let me talk quickly about The Third Estate Sunday Review because I always hear about it from Elaine or at the sites and was always curious. Saturday I got to listen to some of it. I had mentioned it to Wally, about being interested, and they were all cool with it. There is a lot of talking about what will be written. Once it's written, there's a lot of discussion about whether or not a point can be supported. Not in terms of facts, they know what they're writing about. But in terms of can they personally agree with the way something's worded. C.I. will say flat out, "I cannot have my name on a statement like that because" and will list off members of the community. Ava and C.I. will both say that about statements that they think could be misread. Jim enjoys the whole thing. I think he enjoys the back and forth more than the writing. Or like, there was talk of writing a story about fasting because all of them fasted on the Fourth but then it was brought up that Elaine and Rebecca did as well and they might want to add input on that. It's interesting to see what gets passed their vetting stage and what doesn't for a lot of different reasons. When I got off the phone they told me to expect only half the things discussed to show up online and that about a fourth of what didn't would get put into the print edition. And that's pretty much how it turned out.
I'll put in C.I.'s "Iraq snaphot" now because I'm not sure I was serious enough tonight. Elaine's always more prepared and I'm afraid I may be driving away her readers with each passing day. She comes back Wednesday.
Violence and chaos continue.
Bombings, shootings, corpses, kidnappings -- characteristics of daily life in Iraq -- continue while the miliary releases the name of the five US troops charged this weekend in the Mahmoudiya incident and Iraq attempts to overturn the immunity law that exempts suspects from being charged in and by Iraq (foreign troops and contractors).
Bombings.
The AFP notes that a car bomb in Baghdad killed at least ten and left at least fifty-one wounded. The Associated Press notes that this car bomb happened "near a repair shop on the edge of . . . Sadr City". Al Jazeera notes the second bombing which occurred "outside a restaurant near the central bank in central Baghdad" resulting in at least six dead and at least 28 wounded. A third bomb, roadside, resulted in the wounding of five police officers according to Reuters.
Also in Baghdad, CBS and AP note that a bus was "ambushed" with the seven people on it killed (six passengers and the driver) and the bus set on fire.
As Brian Edwards-Tiekert noted today on KPFA's The Morning Show, "violence came despite a security crackdown in the capital raising new questions about the effectiveness of the police and Iraqi army."
Outside of Baghdad, Al Jazeera notes a roadside bomb in Hillah killed one police officer and wounded four while, in Kirkuk, "a sucide truck bomb struck an office of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan" leaving five dead and twelve wounded. Reuters reports a roadside bomb in Yusifya that took the life of one person and left two more wounded; and a car bomb in Baquba that left eleven wounded. CBS and the AP note a bomb in Mahmoudiya that left ten wounded and a car bomb in Ramadi that wounded four US troops.
Shootings?
The BBC notes that Adnan Iskandar al-Mahdawi ("member of the provincial council in Diyala province") is dead as a result of a drive-by. CBS and AP report that, in Baghdad, a doctor was "forced . . . out of his car . . . and killed in front of his family."Reuters notes two attacks in Baghdad -- one which left three police officers dead and wounded another and a second where two "bodyguards of a judge" were killed and three were wounded.
Corpses?
Reuters reports five corpses were found in Suwayra, one in Kut ("shotgun wounds") and one near Dugail ("gunshot wounds . . . signs of torture") while CBS and AP note the discovery of "two bullet-riddled" corpses in Baghdad and notes five corpses, not one, discovered in Kut.
Reuters notes that "an agriculture official" was kidnapped in Dujail.
The Associated Press reports that the latest five charged in the incident involving the alleged rape of 14-year-old Abeer Qassim Hamza as well as her murder, and that of three members of her family, are Paul E. Cortez, Anthony W. Yribe, James P. Barker, Jesse V. Spielman, and Bryan L. Howard. Yribe is identified as the one who, as Amy Goodman noted on Democracy Now!, is "charged with dereliction of duty for failing to report the crime." The AP notes that "[t]he others face more serious charges as participants" as well as the fact that two of the five charged are sergeants (Cortez and Yribe). The five join Steven D. Green who was charged on June 30th.
The names of the five are released as Mariam Karouny (Reuters) reports that the US crafted laws for Iraq are facing a challenge according to Wigdan Michael (human rights minister in Iraq) who states "We're very serious about" requesting the "United Nations . . . end immunity from local law for U.S. troops". Michael tells Karouny: "One of the reasons for this is the U.N. resolution, which gives the multinational force soldiers immunity. Without punishment, you get violations. This happens when there is no punishment."
In peace news, Amy Goodman and Medea Benjamin discussed the Troops Home Fast today. Benjamin stated: ". . . we think this fast is one way that they can do it. We've had people who have read about the fast in the paper, and they're in West Palm Beach, for example, and just jumped on a plane and came and joined us. We have a woman from Vancouver, in Washington state, who heard about the fast and decided that she had to do something more, came and joined us for this week. People who thought they were going to fast for one day have ended up fasting for the entire week and are going into their second week. This can really be a catalyst if people join. Every day we have hundreds more signing up on the troopshomefast.org website and saying they want to participate."
In other peace news, Ehren Watada's mother Carolyn Ho has stated, of her son's refusal to deploy to Iraq for the illegal war, "He is sending that message to all the armed forces, the message that they need to examine carefully the war they are choosing to fight." Ehren's father, Bob Watada, is comparing the fight against the charges the military has brought against his son to a competition and tells Alyssa S. Navares (Honolulu Star Bulletin), "I have always been one of those dads at every game and practice . . . Although I whip him in a singles match, together we pravail on the court. And trust me, we're going to do it again when we fight these charges."
Finally, Reuters is reporting that 200 ex-police officers ("fired . . . for forgery and bribery") stormed the Muthanna governor's office "demanding they be reinstated in their jobs in the southern city of Samawa, the capital of Muthanna province."
Friday, July 07, 2006
About Rebecca
Tonight, I'm writing about Rebecca. This is a Friday when we watch Joyce's kids so she and her husband can go out and have some fun. We is Ramon, my boyfriend, and me. Joyce is my best friend. And I'm Sunny. Elaine's on vacation in case you've been away from your computer for awhile. The kids are asleep and Ramon's watching some sports thing (I don't think he's into it but he acted like he was to make sure I knew it was okay to write -- I don't think he's into it because I can hear him flipping the channel right now).
Rebecca and C.I. are two voices I got to know almost immediately. They would call. C.I. probably calls and leaves a message at least three times a week. It's always a polite and apologetic call but I'll write about C.I. on Monday. Rebecca?
Did you ever see the film For Pete's Sake? One time I told Rebecca that I felt like the aunt in Texas that Barbra Streisand calls in that move and before I could finish my sentence, Rebecca interrupted with, "For Pete's Sake!" She's a big Barbra Streisand fan so, even though we were already laughing on the phone by that point, I was "in."
Rebecca calls multiple times during the day. Whereas C.I. has boiled the message down to no more than two sentences before calling, Rebecca will run it by me first. She'll offer up something and then, after, wonder how the message should read? (She's considerate and always checks to make sure I'm not busy and will say to put her on hold if I get busy.)
Rebecca can tell a story that will have you laughing so hard you'll have to insist she stops before you pee your pants. She's very funny. She's smart. If she makes you laugh, she's thrilled. So I wondered what she looked like. Elaine has a photo of the three of them in college and showed me it and I thought, "Well, that was college."
She still looks the same. When she's in the area, she'll stop by. What does she look like? Like a cover girl. She has this wonderful blonde hair that she swears she doesn't do a thing to, doesn't brush it out, doesn't comb it, and it just looks wonderful. She's actually not like a cover girl because her look is really soft. Like John Stamos' ex-wife, if you know who I mean. I'm forgetting her name. She's in the X-Men movies. Rebecca's just really pretty.
I had a hard time believing her stories about when she used to work but one day she showed up with her hair pulled back and piled up, in this very business like women's suit and I could see it.
She said it was like wearing a straight jacket day after day.
She flows. She's as light as air. If you were picturing an angel when you were a kid, or an angel you'd put on top of a Christmas tree, you'd be picturing Rebecca. But with really big boobs.
She's just the most relaxed and at home with herself person. She's a lot of fun.
I think she's got such a female following online because women get her. (Some men do to. Wally loves her. The one committee I served on for the community was with Wally, Eli, Keesha, Brandon and Erika. Wally had just become part of the community and when he found out I knew Rebecca, he had a million questions.) If she's having PMS, you know it. There's no front with her. If she's ticked off, you know it. If some man's thought he's a bit more important than anyone else in the world finds him, you know she's going to cut him down to size.
She is our warrior woman. I really think that. She's not going to be silent or cowed. No one, especially no man, is going to tell her what to do. She's that older sister or cousin that you grow up with and think, "Oh, I want to be that cool! I want to be that fearless."
I knew about the miscarriage shortly after Elaine found out because Elaine called me to say we needed to cancel appointments. She called on a Sunday and it's rare that I ever hear her sounding upset. She explained what was going on and that she was going to the doctor with Rebecca on Tuesday so we were going to have to clear Tuesday and Wednesday.
So I knew what was going on. I wondered how she'd explain it online. Monday evening, there it was. No, "Well, something's happened." It was Rebecca being Rebecca, I had a miscarriage, I'm dealing with it, I'm not interested in going into it at length, I haven't changed and let me demonstrate to you that I'm still the same woman who's not going to take any crap.
It's easy to forget how strong she is when you see her in person because she's so soft. Her hair looks soft, her features are soft. I've told her many times that I wish I had her guts and she'll always tell me that I'm stronger now than she was at her age.
She said she had to learn and re-learn that no one's going to love you because you're nice. You're not storing nuts for the winter by being nice and not making waves. The minute you have something to say, strongly, you're still going to be labeled a "bitch" so you might as well know that going in and speak about what matters to you.
When I was 19, I cried and cried because my then boyfriend called me a bitch. I cried the whole next day, Joyce told me to get a grip, because he had apologized. I was blubbering to Joyce about how "He-he-he-he [sob] he said he was sorry for calling me a bitch." I then added it was the sweetest thing.
How Joyce avoided slapping me, I'll never know.
But "bitch" was the word I feared. I think a lot of women do. I've learned from a lot of strong women in the last years but Rebecca, as she always does, cut right to the chase: "The choices are doormat or bitch. Which do you want to be?"
And that's really what it boils down to in most cases. You speak your mind (even slightly) and you're a "bitch" or a "ball buster" or worst. You go along like your seven-years-old (except in the bedroom, then you better be ready to take charge or you're "frigid"), nodding and agreeing and all you are is a doormat.
I'm not talking about what we really are, I'm talking about how women are seen.
And guess what, I can be a bitch.
Realizing that and saying it, in a phone call with Rebecca, was very liberating.
Guess what else, sometimes the situation calls for me to be a bitch.
There was a dry cleaner I used and they treated me like crap. They destroyed a silk blouse I had and then insisted that the three inch hole in it must have been in it when I brought it in. That wasn't the first problem I'd had with them.
I was mad still the next day. Rebecca calls and asks, "What's up?" and I tell her. She says, "You need to scream bloody murder." I said, there right by my apartment, they have a quick turn around, and that they've said they're sorry before.
I was the ultimate doormat that day. Rebecca listens until I'm done and then says, "They've said they're sorry before? What else have they destroyed?" I list a few items but start saying that they do a lot of clothes and mistakes happen and just being the ultimate sap.
Rebecca set me straight. After work, I went home, grabbed the silk blouse and went back. I let them have it. It felt good after surpressing it for so long.
I went in saying, "I know accidents can happen but this was a blouse I only wore once and now it's ruined." Not by us, they kept insisting. Then the manager says, "You can't prove that we did it."
That's when I let my inner-bitch come out to play. I let them have it , it must have been for five minutes straight, and they were staring at me in shock. This guy behind me goes from yawning loudly to saying, "Yeah and they ruined about twenty of my ties!" I told them I was never coming back and I didn't.
I found another cleaners.
Now I could've done that (and should have). And I could've done it 'quietly' and been 'a good girl.' But they knew they ruined my blouse and I knew they did it and knew they knew they did it.
We really didn't shout in my house (unless it was "Oh look at the tree!" or something like that). I think Rebecca is all about taking off the emotional corsets. Burning them. Saying, "This is who I am! Deal with it or get out!"
And that someone so small and soft can do that really gave me the guts too. I think Rebecca's the woman saying, "You can do it. I am and you can too!"
One day, she took Elaine and I out to lunch (she's done that many times, but I'm thinking of one time in particular) and she made Elaine back her up on how she was always considered the "sweet" one and the "nice" one and she rarely ever spoke out. I believe it. But it's so hard to take the Rebecca in front of you and picture her ever being like that.
My mother loves her. Rebecca loves the telephone. I told her my mother thought she was "marvelous" and she said, "Give me her number, I'll call her today." My mother had a problem with a neighbor, they ended up talking about that and figuring out how to deal with it. (And it worked.) That's Rebecca.
If she were running for president, we'd all be a lot better off because she would deal with things. She wouldn't leave them for someone to deal with in the future and act like there wasn't a problem (the way Bully Boy does with the environment -- and Rebecca cares about the environment big time). In office or running for it, if someone tried to Swift Boat her, she'd torpedo them. She wouldn't go hat in hand begging to the press.
She is strong. That's why when she wrote about her miscarriage, I knew she was going to be okay. I knew she was in pain, that was obvious. But it was also obvious that she wasn't fronting. When Goldie or any of the girls in school talk about how much power she gives them, I understand. I read that and think, "I hear you!" Because that's what she is, permission. Permission to be angry, permission to be happy, permission to be enraged, pissed, sexual, you name it. In a world where so many of us are either playing 'good girl' or toying at 'bad girl' (usually because we grasp that we can't be the 'good girl') she says, "You can be it all."
She's like Catwoman in Batman Returns. I told her that once and she laughed. That's probably the best thing she has. She's gorgeous and you could stare at her all day trying to find a flaw without success. She's strong and that's amazing. But her laugh . . .
It's a deep throated, full laugh. Not a little tinkle or a girlish giggle. Her laugh is who she is.
So, I'll close with C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot." But before I do, thank you again for the kind e-mails. I'm not really sure how much I have to say any given night. Monday, I'm writing about C.I. I'm thinking about writing about Mike or Wally or both on Tuesday. Elaine will be back on Wednesday. I know some of the others when they call but I've seen Mike and I've seen Wally. I'll write and make sure it's okay to write about them. Elaine was fine with anything. Rebecca's only thing was, "Don't make me out to be a goody-goody." C.I. said, "Just note that they're your opinions." So I'll check with Mike and Wally and make sure it's okay to write about them. They're both very nice men and they're both very attractive. Wally's blonde and Mike has dark hair. If they say it's cool, I'll be able to share more than that. They're both handsome. The first time I saw Mike, I thought, "I hate Nina!" (In a joking way. Nina is Mike's girlfriend.)
Everyone's been so supportive and besides the ones I've mentioned, I want to thank Dona who called to ask how I was holding up, Ava who called to say everything was wonderful and Cedric who called twice now and both times, after the greeting, asked, "What's giving you the hardest time?" Everyone made their numbers available and everyone's been so sweet to me which isn't surprising but it is appreciated. Before I read the e-mails about my first post, I was ready to slit my wrists and Cedric was so kind and made me laugh repeatedly. So thank you to everybody and, if you can hold out until Wednesday, Elaine's back then.
Here's C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot:"
Chaos and violence continue.
Iraq was rocked with bombings today. As Sandra Lupien noted on KPFA's The Morning Show, "As many as 17 are dead and at least 50 wounded following attacks on mosques." The BBC reports that the bombs went off "in Baghdad and Baquba following Friday prayers." Al Jazeera notes that, in Baghdad, a car bomb went off near one Sunni mosque and a mortar round landed on another. In addition to the mortar attack on the mosque, Reuters reports another one in Baghdad that took the lives of at least three people and wounded at least 30. Reuters also notes a car bomb exploding near a mosque in Tal Banat ("killed six and wounded 46") and that three people were gunned down in Mosul. The Associated Press reports that, in Sinjar, at least eight died and 48 were wounded when "a car bomb exploded near a Shiite mosque".
Along with the above, the AFP reports that two sheikhs may have been kidnapped. Sheikh Said Mohammed Taha al-Samarrai of Mahmudiyah is reported kidnapped and killed according to Sunni members of Parliament. The second sheikh believed to be kidnapped is Sheikh Alaa Mohammed Abbas al-Rikabi -- and that's according to Sheikh Abdel Ghafur al-Sammarai who also states "that 181 Sunni clerics have been killed since February."
Mahmudiyah was the hometown of Abeer Qasim Hamza, the 15-year-old who was allegedly rape before being killed (along with three of her family members) by US military forces. Steven D. Green is the only one charged so far. In court Thursday, his attorney Scott Wendelsdorf "entered a plea of 'not guilty on all counts,'" Reuters reports.
In peace news, Bay Area Code Pink is fasting and picketing . . . outside the home of War Hawk Di Fi (the home warbucks is building): " Senator Diane Feinstein recently voted against John Kerry's amendment calling for the troops to come home. Let's make sure she doesn't disappoint her constituents again. Gather with us, as we encourage her to co-sponsor the Harkin bill (S. CON. RES 93) -- no permanent military presence or military bases in Iraq; no attempt to control the flow of Iraqi oil; and Armed Forces should be redeployed from Iraq as soon as practicable after the completion of Iraq's constitution-making process or December 31, 2006 - which ever comes first."
CODEPINK also continues their fast in DC and elsewhere as people across the country continue fasting or begin to show their support. Kris Wise (Daily Mail) writes of West Virginians taking part in the fast and quotes Janie Poe: "I'll go for as long as my body can hold out or until my group tells me to stop. It's probably detrimental for us on our bodies, but it's us screaming out to people to wake up."
Today on KPFA's The Morning Show, Andrea Lewis interviewed Dahr Jamail and Mark Manning (info on tonight's event below) on the subject of Iraq. On the issue of the alleged rape and the murders, Dahr Jamail said, "This type of thing is happening on a regular basis in Iraq . . . [rapes during house raids] even in the capital city of Baghdad." Mark Manning pointed out that the legal immunity given to contractors and the military has created "a huge problem" and that the Iraqis have seen too many incidents being wiped away without investigation.
Event tonight:
An upcoming event: Brava Theater, 2789 24th Street, San Francisco, Friday, July 7th, 7:00 pm. (415-647-2822)Mark Manning will be screening his film Caught in the Crossfire for those interested in knowing the realities on Falluja that Dexy and the other Green Zoners never got around to telling you. Nadia McCaffrey, who lost her son in the Iraq war, will bespeaking as will Dahr Jamail.
Rebecca and C.I. are two voices I got to know almost immediately. They would call. C.I. probably calls and leaves a message at least three times a week. It's always a polite and apologetic call but I'll write about C.I. on Monday. Rebecca?
Did you ever see the film For Pete's Sake? One time I told Rebecca that I felt like the aunt in Texas that Barbra Streisand calls in that move and before I could finish my sentence, Rebecca interrupted with, "For Pete's Sake!" She's a big Barbra Streisand fan so, even though we were already laughing on the phone by that point, I was "in."
Rebecca calls multiple times during the day. Whereas C.I. has boiled the message down to no more than two sentences before calling, Rebecca will run it by me first. She'll offer up something and then, after, wonder how the message should read? (She's considerate and always checks to make sure I'm not busy and will say to put her on hold if I get busy.)
Rebecca can tell a story that will have you laughing so hard you'll have to insist she stops before you pee your pants. She's very funny. She's smart. If she makes you laugh, she's thrilled. So I wondered what she looked like. Elaine has a photo of the three of them in college and showed me it and I thought, "Well, that was college."
She still looks the same. When she's in the area, she'll stop by. What does she look like? Like a cover girl. She has this wonderful blonde hair that she swears she doesn't do a thing to, doesn't brush it out, doesn't comb it, and it just looks wonderful. She's actually not like a cover girl because her look is really soft. Like John Stamos' ex-wife, if you know who I mean. I'm forgetting her name. She's in the X-Men movies. Rebecca's just really pretty.
I had a hard time believing her stories about when she used to work but one day she showed up with her hair pulled back and piled up, in this very business like women's suit and I could see it.
She said it was like wearing a straight jacket day after day.
She flows. She's as light as air. If you were picturing an angel when you were a kid, or an angel you'd put on top of a Christmas tree, you'd be picturing Rebecca. But with really big boobs.
She's just the most relaxed and at home with herself person. She's a lot of fun.
I think she's got such a female following online because women get her. (Some men do to. Wally loves her. The one committee I served on for the community was with Wally, Eli, Keesha, Brandon and Erika. Wally had just become part of the community and when he found out I knew Rebecca, he had a million questions.) If she's having PMS, you know it. There's no front with her. If she's ticked off, you know it. If some man's thought he's a bit more important than anyone else in the world finds him, you know she's going to cut him down to size.
She is our warrior woman. I really think that. She's not going to be silent or cowed. No one, especially no man, is going to tell her what to do. She's that older sister or cousin that you grow up with and think, "Oh, I want to be that cool! I want to be that fearless."
I knew about the miscarriage shortly after Elaine found out because Elaine called me to say we needed to cancel appointments. She called on a Sunday and it's rare that I ever hear her sounding upset. She explained what was going on and that she was going to the doctor with Rebecca on Tuesday so we were going to have to clear Tuesday and Wednesday.
So I knew what was going on. I wondered how she'd explain it online. Monday evening, there it was. No, "Well, something's happened." It was Rebecca being Rebecca, I had a miscarriage, I'm dealing with it, I'm not interested in going into it at length, I haven't changed and let me demonstrate to you that I'm still the same woman who's not going to take any crap.
It's easy to forget how strong she is when you see her in person because she's so soft. Her hair looks soft, her features are soft. I've told her many times that I wish I had her guts and she'll always tell me that I'm stronger now than she was at her age.
She said she had to learn and re-learn that no one's going to love you because you're nice. You're not storing nuts for the winter by being nice and not making waves. The minute you have something to say, strongly, you're still going to be labeled a "bitch" so you might as well know that going in and speak about what matters to you.
When I was 19, I cried and cried because my then boyfriend called me a bitch. I cried the whole next day, Joyce told me to get a grip, because he had apologized. I was blubbering to Joyce about how "He-he-he-he [sob] he said he was sorry for calling me a bitch." I then added it was the sweetest thing.
How Joyce avoided slapping me, I'll never know.
But "bitch" was the word I feared. I think a lot of women do. I've learned from a lot of strong women in the last years but Rebecca, as she always does, cut right to the chase: "The choices are doormat or bitch. Which do you want to be?"
And that's really what it boils down to in most cases. You speak your mind (even slightly) and you're a "bitch" or a "ball buster" or worst. You go along like your seven-years-old (except in the bedroom, then you better be ready to take charge or you're "frigid"), nodding and agreeing and all you are is a doormat.
I'm not talking about what we really are, I'm talking about how women are seen.
And guess what, I can be a bitch.
Realizing that and saying it, in a phone call with Rebecca, was very liberating.
Guess what else, sometimes the situation calls for me to be a bitch.
There was a dry cleaner I used and they treated me like crap. They destroyed a silk blouse I had and then insisted that the three inch hole in it must have been in it when I brought it in. That wasn't the first problem I'd had with them.
I was mad still the next day. Rebecca calls and asks, "What's up?" and I tell her. She says, "You need to scream bloody murder." I said, there right by my apartment, they have a quick turn around, and that they've said they're sorry before.
I was the ultimate doormat that day. Rebecca listens until I'm done and then says, "They've said they're sorry before? What else have they destroyed?" I list a few items but start saying that they do a lot of clothes and mistakes happen and just being the ultimate sap.
Rebecca set me straight. After work, I went home, grabbed the silk blouse and went back. I let them have it. It felt good after surpressing it for so long.
I went in saying, "I know accidents can happen but this was a blouse I only wore once and now it's ruined." Not by us, they kept insisting. Then the manager says, "You can't prove that we did it."
That's when I let my inner-bitch come out to play. I let them have it , it must have been for five minutes straight, and they were staring at me in shock. This guy behind me goes from yawning loudly to saying, "Yeah and they ruined about twenty of my ties!" I told them I was never coming back and I didn't.
I found another cleaners.
Now I could've done that (and should have). And I could've done it 'quietly' and been 'a good girl.' But they knew they ruined my blouse and I knew they did it and knew they knew they did it.
We really didn't shout in my house (unless it was "Oh look at the tree!" or something like that). I think Rebecca is all about taking off the emotional corsets. Burning them. Saying, "This is who I am! Deal with it or get out!"
And that someone so small and soft can do that really gave me the guts too. I think Rebecca's the woman saying, "You can do it. I am and you can too!"
One day, she took Elaine and I out to lunch (she's done that many times, but I'm thinking of one time in particular) and she made Elaine back her up on how she was always considered the "sweet" one and the "nice" one and she rarely ever spoke out. I believe it. But it's so hard to take the Rebecca in front of you and picture her ever being like that.
My mother loves her. Rebecca loves the telephone. I told her my mother thought she was "marvelous" and she said, "Give me her number, I'll call her today." My mother had a problem with a neighbor, they ended up talking about that and figuring out how to deal with it. (And it worked.) That's Rebecca.
If she were running for president, we'd all be a lot better off because she would deal with things. She wouldn't leave them for someone to deal with in the future and act like there wasn't a problem (the way Bully Boy does with the environment -- and Rebecca cares about the environment big time). In office or running for it, if someone tried to Swift Boat her, she'd torpedo them. She wouldn't go hat in hand begging to the press.
She is strong. That's why when she wrote about her miscarriage, I knew she was going to be okay. I knew she was in pain, that was obvious. But it was also obvious that she wasn't fronting. When Goldie or any of the girls in school talk about how much power she gives them, I understand. I read that and think, "I hear you!" Because that's what she is, permission. Permission to be angry, permission to be happy, permission to be enraged, pissed, sexual, you name it. In a world where so many of us are either playing 'good girl' or toying at 'bad girl' (usually because we grasp that we can't be the 'good girl') she says, "You can be it all."
She's like Catwoman in Batman Returns. I told her that once and she laughed. That's probably the best thing she has. She's gorgeous and you could stare at her all day trying to find a flaw without success. She's strong and that's amazing. But her laugh . . .
It's a deep throated, full laugh. Not a little tinkle or a girlish giggle. Her laugh is who she is.
So, I'll close with C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot." But before I do, thank you again for the kind e-mails. I'm not really sure how much I have to say any given night. Monday, I'm writing about C.I. I'm thinking about writing about Mike or Wally or both on Tuesday. Elaine will be back on Wednesday. I know some of the others when they call but I've seen Mike and I've seen Wally. I'll write and make sure it's okay to write about them. Elaine was fine with anything. Rebecca's only thing was, "Don't make me out to be a goody-goody." C.I. said, "Just note that they're your opinions." So I'll check with Mike and Wally and make sure it's okay to write about them. They're both very nice men and they're both very attractive. Wally's blonde and Mike has dark hair. If they say it's cool, I'll be able to share more than that. They're both handsome. The first time I saw Mike, I thought, "I hate Nina!" (In a joking way. Nina is Mike's girlfriend.)
Everyone's been so supportive and besides the ones I've mentioned, I want to thank Dona who called to ask how I was holding up, Ava who called to say everything was wonderful and Cedric who called twice now and both times, after the greeting, asked, "What's giving you the hardest time?" Everyone made their numbers available and everyone's been so sweet to me which isn't surprising but it is appreciated. Before I read the e-mails about my first post, I was ready to slit my wrists and Cedric was so kind and made me laugh repeatedly. So thank you to everybody and, if you can hold out until Wednesday, Elaine's back then.
Here's C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot:"
Chaos and violence continue.
Iraq was rocked with bombings today. As Sandra Lupien noted on KPFA's The Morning Show, "As many as 17 are dead and at least 50 wounded following attacks on mosques." The BBC reports that the bombs went off "in Baghdad and Baquba following Friday prayers." Al Jazeera notes that, in Baghdad, a car bomb went off near one Sunni mosque and a mortar round landed on another. In addition to the mortar attack on the mosque, Reuters reports another one in Baghdad that took the lives of at least three people and wounded at least 30. Reuters also notes a car bomb exploding near a mosque in Tal Banat ("killed six and wounded 46") and that three people were gunned down in Mosul. The Associated Press reports that, in Sinjar, at least eight died and 48 were wounded when "a car bomb exploded near a Shiite mosque".
Along with the above, the AFP reports that two sheikhs may have been kidnapped. Sheikh Said Mohammed Taha al-Samarrai of Mahmudiyah is reported kidnapped and killed according to Sunni members of Parliament. The second sheikh believed to be kidnapped is Sheikh Alaa Mohammed Abbas al-Rikabi -- and that's according to Sheikh Abdel Ghafur al-Sammarai who also states "that 181 Sunni clerics have been killed since February."
Mahmudiyah was the hometown of Abeer Qasim Hamza, the 15-year-old who was allegedly rape before being killed (along with three of her family members) by US military forces. Steven D. Green is the only one charged so far. In court Thursday, his attorney Scott Wendelsdorf "entered a plea of 'not guilty on all counts,'" Reuters reports.
In peace news, Bay Area Code Pink is fasting and picketing . . . outside the home of War Hawk Di Fi (the home warbucks is building): " Senator Diane Feinstein recently voted against John Kerry's amendment calling for the troops to come home. Let's make sure she doesn't disappoint her constituents again. Gather with us, as we encourage her to co-sponsor the Harkin bill (S. CON. RES 93) -- no permanent military presence or military bases in Iraq; no attempt to control the flow of Iraqi oil; and Armed Forces should be redeployed from Iraq as soon as practicable after the completion of Iraq's constitution-making process or December 31, 2006 - which ever comes first."
CODEPINK also continues their fast in DC and elsewhere as people across the country continue fasting or begin to show their support. Kris Wise (Daily Mail) writes of West Virginians taking part in the fast and quotes Janie Poe: "I'll go for as long as my body can hold out or until my group tells me to stop. It's probably detrimental for us on our bodies, but it's us screaming out to people to wake up."
Today on KPFA's The Morning Show, Andrea Lewis interviewed Dahr Jamail and Mark Manning (info on tonight's event below) on the subject of Iraq. On the issue of the alleged rape and the murders, Dahr Jamail said, "This type of thing is happening on a regular basis in Iraq . . . [rapes during house raids] even in the capital city of Baghdad." Mark Manning pointed out that the legal immunity given to contractors and the military has created "a huge problem" and that the Iraqis have seen too many incidents being wiped away without investigation.
Event tonight:
An upcoming event: Brava Theater, 2789 24th Street, San Francisco, Friday, July 7th, 7:00 pm. (415-647-2822)Mark Manning will be screening his film Caught in the Crossfire for those interested in knowing the realities on Falluja that Dexy and the other Green Zoners never got around to telling you. Nadia McCaffrey, who lost her son in the Iraq war, will bespeaking as will Dahr Jamail.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
About Elaine
Day two or night two. Sunny with you filling in for Elaine while she's on vacation.
Thank you for all the great e-mails. I've still got a few more to read but they really made my day. Everyone was so supportive.
I'm going to write about Elaine tonight.
Okay, let's start with physical. She does put her hair in a pony tail some mornings when she's rushing. She can carry that off. She's very pretty. Her hair is almost black during the winter and then gets lighter when we have more sunshine. By the end of summer, it's amazing and looks like she got it streaked, but it's natural. I told her once she should get it done so it always looks like that but she said if she started coloring, she'd have to worry about roots and she didn't want to add another task to her list.
She has incredible posture and I spent months waiting for her to slouch, even in a chair. She never has. She took ballet and if I have a girl some day, she will too because her posture just gives her this great bearing.
She's really graceful. So even when she thinks she's being messy, it doesn't come off that way. A few months after I started, we moved offices. She said, "Wear sweats or something, we'll be in boxes forever." She did wear sweats but I felt like an 9th grader in gym class standing next to the homecoming queen.
So that's her looks.
She's very smart but I guess you already knew that.
Did you know she can be funny? She really can be. And she really loves to laugh.
So she's a really cool person.
But, and this is what I wanted to write about her, she's also a really cool boss.
This job was a huge step up for me. I needed it because I had rent coming due shortly and had just been laid off. I put in applications everywhere. She actually called for an interview and I went in. I was overdressed (looked like I was going to prom!) and so nervous.
I stumbled through about 15 minutes of questions. Then she said, "Okay, the interview's over."
Not in a rude way. I apologized and explained that I knew I wasn't qualified but I was trying to find any job I could. We talked for forty minutes and then she had to stop because she had a session that was about to start.
I left, went to the movies, had a HUGE thing of popcorn and just thought, "I can't afford this movie! Oh shut up and focus on the movie!"
I got home and there was messages from my friend Joyce (a job lead and just saying hi), two from my mother and Elaine. She said call so we could figure out when I should start.
I was just standing there shocked.
I had to play the message again. Then I called Joyce and got her to come over to help me pick out what I could wear to work. While Joyce was there, I made her listen to the message. She goes, "Yeah, you got the job."
My first 2 weeks were non-stop mistakes. I made one mistake after another. I thought each night, "When I go in tomorrow, she's telling me I'm fired."
That didn't happen and then mid-week of my third week, I asked if I could talk to her. I told her I knew I was screwing up and that I should start looking for something else. She asked me why I felt that way and I said because I keep making all these mistakes.
I said, "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there are like a million."
She said she'd noticed but what she'd paid attention to was how I fixed the mistakes.
That was so different than any boss I'd had. She really gave me a sense of confidence. After that meeting, I didn't worry so much. She said that every day there were going to be mistakes and that the issue was to learn from them.
When we do evaluations, we do them. She expects me to come in with some critical comments of her. She tells me I'm not doing my job if I don't have them. And she really listens to them. Which is really cool.
I make a very nice salary. I have health and dental. I've got a 401K (which she says is a joke with the current stock market). It's just a really great job.
Once I got comfortable in it and got the job down more, I realized I'm mainly waiting around. When she noticed that, she said that since I had the swing of things, if I wanted to bring in a TV or magazines that was cool and not to worry about acting busy. So most of the time, I look at what I need to do that day and pace myself so I'm not just sitting around. There's probably four hours of office work. The rest of the time, I'm just answering the phone or monitoring the office.
It's pretty cool and laid back.
She's joined my mother in saying, "You need to get your degree." I did two years of college without even getting an associates. So this fall, due to pressure, I'll be going back. Elaine always points out, "I could drop dead tomorrow." She says too I may get bored and want to move on at some point. I don't think that's likely but I know she also thinks about closing shop. I don't think she ever will. I think she'll be sixty and still doing this.
But right now, I've got a cool job with enough money to go back and I don't have kids so it makes sense to use the time.
What else?
Oh, Rebecca's always writing about how Elaine doesn't get how pretty she is. She is very pretty. I don't know if she doesn't get it or if she just doesn't think it's all that important?
She also doesn't take any crap which probably surprises a lot of people because she's really soft spoken. I don't mean shy or timid, I just mean soft spoken. At the old office, there was a guy next to us who would always find a reason to come in and talk to me. He really got on my nerves but I just ignored him. One day, Elaine came in without him noticing and she just tore into him, asking him, "What gives you the right to speak to her like that?"
He was really oily personality wise, you know, like a used car salesman? And after I started ignoring him, he just started getting really vulgar. I would ignore him and think "Jerk." But that was it. After he left with his tail between his legs, Elaine told me I never had to tolerate that kind of thing. She said if it made me uncomfortable to say something to let her know and she would.
I think the thing I'm the luckiest on (and I'm pretty lucky, I know) is that she's against the war. I have some friends who can't talk about the war at work because their bosses (or their managers) freak out. When the invasion started, I was really depressed and still get that way sometimes. I can always talk about that with her. She gets depressed about the war sometimes too. Other than Guantanamo, the war's the only thing that gets her down.
She's dating a guy right now who seems really nice. And another cool thing about her is it's not all about him. Until Ramon, I really made my whole life about whatever guy I was dating. Elaine keeps her perspective. I admire that about her so much. If I were to dime-store it, I lived most of my life like a love junkie. Maybe it's getting older but I'm not so lost now. I can spend time with Ramon and enjoy it. I hope it's going somewhere but if it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. The first time I said that to Joyce, she gasped because that was so not me. I mean, I've dyed my hair before when a guy said he thought Julia Roberts was beautiful. It's been a long process. I think I owe a lot of it to Elaine who would be the first to reject it and tell me that I did what I did. But she's provided a really strong role model of what I can be and she's always believed me making her the only one besides my mother and Joyce who has. My mother has to believe me, come on, she's my mother. Joyce is my best friend. If she stops believeing in me, what do we do? Talk about how my life is over before I'm thirty?
So Elaine's just really cool.
Thank you for all the great e-mails. I've still got a few more to read but they really made my day. Everyone was so supportive.
I'm going to write about Elaine tonight.
Okay, let's start with physical. She does put her hair in a pony tail some mornings when she's rushing. She can carry that off. She's very pretty. Her hair is almost black during the winter and then gets lighter when we have more sunshine. By the end of summer, it's amazing and looks like she got it streaked, but it's natural. I told her once she should get it done so it always looks like that but she said if she started coloring, she'd have to worry about roots and she didn't want to add another task to her list.
She has incredible posture and I spent months waiting for her to slouch, even in a chair. She never has. She took ballet and if I have a girl some day, she will too because her posture just gives her this great bearing.
She's really graceful. So even when she thinks she's being messy, it doesn't come off that way. A few months after I started, we moved offices. She said, "Wear sweats or something, we'll be in boxes forever." She did wear sweats but I felt like an 9th grader in gym class standing next to the homecoming queen.
So that's her looks.
She's very smart but I guess you already knew that.
Did you know she can be funny? She really can be. And she really loves to laugh.
So she's a really cool person.
But, and this is what I wanted to write about her, she's also a really cool boss.
This job was a huge step up for me. I needed it because I had rent coming due shortly and had just been laid off. I put in applications everywhere. She actually called for an interview and I went in. I was overdressed (looked like I was going to prom!) and so nervous.
I stumbled through about 15 minutes of questions. Then she said, "Okay, the interview's over."
Not in a rude way. I apologized and explained that I knew I wasn't qualified but I was trying to find any job I could. We talked for forty minutes and then she had to stop because she had a session that was about to start.
I left, went to the movies, had a HUGE thing of popcorn and just thought, "I can't afford this movie! Oh shut up and focus on the movie!"
I got home and there was messages from my friend Joyce (a job lead and just saying hi), two from my mother and Elaine. She said call so we could figure out when I should start.
I was just standing there shocked.
I had to play the message again. Then I called Joyce and got her to come over to help me pick out what I could wear to work. While Joyce was there, I made her listen to the message. She goes, "Yeah, you got the job."
My first 2 weeks were non-stop mistakes. I made one mistake after another. I thought each night, "When I go in tomorrow, she's telling me I'm fired."
That didn't happen and then mid-week of my third week, I asked if I could talk to her. I told her I knew I was screwing up and that I should start looking for something else. She asked me why I felt that way and I said because I keep making all these mistakes.
I said, "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there are like a million."
She said she'd noticed but what she'd paid attention to was how I fixed the mistakes.
That was so different than any boss I'd had. She really gave me a sense of confidence. After that meeting, I didn't worry so much. She said that every day there were going to be mistakes and that the issue was to learn from them.
When we do evaluations, we do them. She expects me to come in with some critical comments of her. She tells me I'm not doing my job if I don't have them. And she really listens to them. Which is really cool.
I make a very nice salary. I have health and dental. I've got a 401K (which she says is a joke with the current stock market). It's just a really great job.
Once I got comfortable in it and got the job down more, I realized I'm mainly waiting around. When she noticed that, she said that since I had the swing of things, if I wanted to bring in a TV or magazines that was cool and not to worry about acting busy. So most of the time, I look at what I need to do that day and pace myself so I'm not just sitting around. There's probably four hours of office work. The rest of the time, I'm just answering the phone or monitoring the office.
It's pretty cool and laid back.
She's joined my mother in saying, "You need to get your degree." I did two years of college without even getting an associates. So this fall, due to pressure, I'll be going back. Elaine always points out, "I could drop dead tomorrow." She says too I may get bored and want to move on at some point. I don't think that's likely but I know she also thinks about closing shop. I don't think she ever will. I think she'll be sixty and still doing this.
But right now, I've got a cool job with enough money to go back and I don't have kids so it makes sense to use the time.
What else?
Oh, Rebecca's always writing about how Elaine doesn't get how pretty she is. She is very pretty. I don't know if she doesn't get it or if she just doesn't think it's all that important?
She also doesn't take any crap which probably surprises a lot of people because she's really soft spoken. I don't mean shy or timid, I just mean soft spoken. At the old office, there was a guy next to us who would always find a reason to come in and talk to me. He really got on my nerves but I just ignored him. One day, Elaine came in without him noticing and she just tore into him, asking him, "What gives you the right to speak to her like that?"
He was really oily personality wise, you know, like a used car salesman? And after I started ignoring him, he just started getting really vulgar. I would ignore him and think "Jerk." But that was it. After he left with his tail between his legs, Elaine told me I never had to tolerate that kind of thing. She said if it made me uncomfortable to say something to let her know and she would.
I think the thing I'm the luckiest on (and I'm pretty lucky, I know) is that she's against the war. I have some friends who can't talk about the war at work because their bosses (or their managers) freak out. When the invasion started, I was really depressed and still get that way sometimes. I can always talk about that with her. She gets depressed about the war sometimes too. Other than Guantanamo, the war's the only thing that gets her down.
She's dating a guy right now who seems really nice. And another cool thing about her is it's not all about him. Until Ramon, I really made my whole life about whatever guy I was dating. Elaine keeps her perspective. I admire that about her so much. If I were to dime-store it, I lived most of my life like a love junkie. Maybe it's getting older but I'm not so lost now. I can spend time with Ramon and enjoy it. I hope it's going somewhere but if it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. The first time I said that to Joyce, she gasped because that was so not me. I mean, I've dyed my hair before when a guy said he thought Julia Roberts was beautiful. It's been a long process. I think I owe a lot of it to Elaine who would be the first to reject it and tell me that I did what I did. But she's provided a really strong role model of what I can be and she's always believed me making her the only one besides my mother and Joyce who has. My mother has to believe me, come on, she's my mother. Joyce is my best friend. If she stops believeing in me, what do we do? Talk about how my life is over before I'm thirty?
So Elaine's just really cool.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Substituting for Elaine
Iraq snapshot.
Violence and chaos continue. Monday on KPFA's Flashpoints, Dahr Jamail told Nora Barrows-Friedman, "It really is horrible to try to keep in context the level of violence . . . Here we are doing it again with no end in sight and I wonder just how long we'll continue doing it? . . . Things are not just staying the same in Iraq, it's getting exponentially worse."
How long before the mainstream press admits that?
In kidnapping news, Raad al-Harith and his body guards have been released. al-Harith is the deputy electricity minister in Iraq who was kidnapped Tuesday. The AFP reports that, "after being held for 10 hour," the bodyguards and al-Hareth were released but that is not the case with regards to Taiseer Najeh Awad al-Mashhadni who was kidnapped Saturday. al-Mashhadani's kidnappers, the AFP reports, "issued demands including special protection for Shiite places" and "called for the release of detainees in US custody and a timetable for the withdrawal of US troops".
Both al-Harith and al-Mashhadni were kidnapped in Baghdad. Remember Baghdad? The "crackdown"? The press seems to have largely forgotten it. As the AFP notes regarding the continued bombings in Baghdad: "The series of blasts come despite an ongoing security plan that has put some 50,000 Iraqi soldiers and police, backed by US forces on the streets."
Basra, which was also placed under a state of emergency also appears largely forgotten. Nancy A. Youssef (McClatchy Newspapers) reports: "The state of emergency ended Saturday, but residents said that little had changed: Shiite militias and tribes still control the city's streets, political factions still fight for control of the city, and Shiite Muslim militias still threaten Sunni Muslims with death. Morgue officials report that the number of people killed in sectarian violence remains unchanged."
Bombings?
Baghdad? The BBC reports that a car bomb near a mosque resulted in at least six dead and at least 17 wounded. AFP notes a bomb "outside a restaurant . . . noteworthy for the massive banners praising Shiite martyrs it displayed" that killed at least one and wounded at least seven as well as another bomb that went off in a market and wounded at least ten peopole. Reuters notes a car bomb in Kirkuk that left three wounded and a roadside bomb that left two wounded. In Mosul, AFP reports, a police officer and a civilian lost their lives when a car bomb exploded (at least four other people were wounded).
Corpses?
Near Kirkuk, AFP reports, "a headless male corpse" was discovered. Reuters reports the discovery of two corpses in Kerbala. AP notes the discovery of a corpse ("shot in the head) in Baghdad.
Shooting deaths?
AFP reports a Kurd was killed while driving his car in Kirkuk. In Mosul, Reuters counts four dead from gun shots. In Baghdad, AP reports that a drive by targeted a Shi-ite family, "killing a 12-year-old boy and wounding his brother and two other relatives."
Reuters reports that the central morgue in Baghdad places the body count for June at 1,595. Abdul Razzaq al-Obaidi states: "June is the highest month in terms of receiving cases of violence since" the Februrary 22nd bombing of the Golden Mosque.
To underscore, the waves of Operation Happy Talk that the peace plan/scam was a 'turning point,' that the death of Zarqawi/"Zarqawi" was a 'turning point,' go down the list -- there has been no 'turning point.'
On Tuesday, Iraq's justice minister Hashim Abdul-Rahman al-Shebli made a call for an independent investigation into the alleged rape of an under-age Iraqi female as well as her alleged murder and that of three of her family members. Today, the Associated Press reports, Nouri al-Maliki (Iraq prime minister and puppet of the illegal occupation) is following al-Shebi's call for an independent investigation. Canada's CBC notes that today was the first time he spoke publicly on the matter . This despite the fact that Green was arrested Friday (news broke on Monday) and the US announced the investigation on Friday. Though various reports mention the alleged involvement of others, thus far only Steven D. Green has been charged. Today on KPFA's The Morning Show, Sandra Lupien noted that the military has gone from referring to Green having an alleged "personality disorder" to his having an "anti-social personality disorder." Lebanon's The Daily Star reports that Safiyya al-Suhail and Ayda al-Sharif (both serve in Iraq's parliament, both are women) are asserting that al-Maliki needs to appear before parliament "to give assurances the US troops would be punished."
The thing at the top is C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot" for Wednesday. My nickname is Sunny and my grandfather gave me that nickname. It's what everyone calls me. I work for Elaine and, for three days, she called me by my given name. Then my mother, who was dying for three days, dying to come up and see my new job, shows up (she'd promised to wait one week but didn't make it) and it's all Sunny this & Sunny that. Elaine asks about my name and my mother says, "Everyone calls her Sunny, you call her Sunny, everyone calls her Sunny, it's because of her smile." Though that reads like several sentence, I didn't make them several sentences. If you knew my mother (who is very sweet), you'd know why.
I want to give a big shout out to Mike who Elaine told me to call if I had any questions. I called him. With a big question - "How do I start?" He said put C.I.'s snapshot up and then I'll have something and won't be staring at a blank screen. That helps. Mike blogs at Mikey Likes It! and if you come here and don't know that already, let me see when Elaine has an opening and pencil you in for a session. :)
I asked Elaine if it was okay to write about her and she said yes. Then I asked if I could write about C.I. and she said yes. So if I add Rebecca to the list, I have three posts. Elaine's back on Wednesday so that means I have three posts that I think I can do.
This is just my intro post. I'll talk a little about me so you'll know somethings. I'll talk about myself tomorrow when I'm talking about Elaine too. Heck, I'll probably talk about myself all week.
I'm 26 years old as of last month. I'm single but steady-dating a guy named Ramon who is very wonderful, too wonderful. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop and for him to explain that he's on parole or married. I've had other jobs before but they didn't pay that well. They paid crap. I had just gotten my first apartment when I was fired from my job. They had cut backs and called it a lay off but it was fired in my book. I was in a panic and started applying for everything, including dental hygenist, whether I was qualified or not. Elaine took a chance on me, she'd disagree, but she did. I'll talk about that some more tomorrow but what you need to know right now, if you didn't already, is that she's a really cool person. We have a lot of fun.
In high school, my best friend Joyce and I were working fast food. That was a lot of fun because we'd always be able to laugh. That's the only job I've enjoyed before this. And I didn't enjoy that work. I do enjoy the work I do now.
Joyce. Joyce has a two kids, both little girls. She got married three years ago and I kid her that she'll have a third baby any day now. Her girls are so pretty, sweet and precious. I see them and think, "I want babies!" Then I see how much she and her husband, both work, struggle and I think, "I should wait." Those girls are wonderful but they better appreciate all their parents are sacrificing for them. My parents did as well but, like my mother says, a dollar went further back then. Ramon and I babysit every other Friday for them because they need a night out.
Joyce said it was okay to write about their money situation and that she really wished I would because she turns on TV and sees all these women who don't work or give up working and feels like no one knows what her life is like.
She works a forty-hour week and so does her husband. Her mother watches the girls during the day. With two full time jobs, meaning two full time paychecks, they still struggle. Her sister works at a clothing store so when the girls are older, if her sister's still there, clothes shouldn't be a problem but right now, everything is.
They have no cable. When there's a game or a concert, I always invite them over. Ramon follows sports so he's better at it than I am. (Ramon and I do not live together, in case you're wondering. We've only been dating a few months.) Their bills are down to rent and utilities. Everything else goes to taking care of the kids. Baby food is not cheap. Nothing is.
I think it's disgusting that two people work so hard and they still have to struggle. Joyce was really worried when their second daughter was born because she stayed home on family leave and her husband started talking about quitting his job and going somewhere else. It would be great if he could get a better paying job but her concern was that, with the economy, he might end up without any job. So he agreed to stay because it was really stressing her out, to the point of high blood pressure. Joyce and I are the same age, there's no reason in the world she should end up with high blood pressure but that's the sort of story you never hear about in the news that just focuses on "Oh, I've got my new house and my new baby."
When I was growing up, I watched Roseanne. There doesn't seem to be any show like that today. Everyone has money. Sometimes they'll whine about not having it, but they don't have to do much, it just shows up. Dan and Roseanne were always struggling and that was reality in my family. That's still reality for a lot of families. But you turn on TV and there's Deborah Barone, stay at home Mom. There's one after another all over TV. I know of two women from my high school graduating class who stay home with their kids. No one else can afford it. But you don't see that on TV.
When I was growing up, it seemed like being a woman was a good thing. Nothing to be ashamed of. But if I watch TV today, I always get the impression that it's a bad thing to be a woman. I really wonder where the Roseannes and Murphy Browns are today? I thought Murphy Brown was funny. It was nothing like my life, but I loved how she didn't take any crap and had this life that was so not like mine. Not in a "unreal" way the way the stay at home moms are. But more like, "Maybe when I grow up . . ."
So that's my problem with TV today.
My other problems? Oh, don't get me started. I should be one of Elaine's patients!
Iraq is a big issue with me. I'm a member of The Common Ills community. I'm a lazy member because I mainly read, but if you look around, you'll find me weighing in with a suggested link or a favorite thing every now and then.
Why do I like The Common Ills? Because it's funny. It really is. I laugh so much. And it's funny while tackling serious subjects. One of the big subjects there is Iraq and I really can't believe how little attention the war gets elsewhere. The Iraq focus has only gotten beefed up and Joyce goes that's because C.I.'s carrying the weight for a lot of people. I agree with that.
But it's told or written in a way that you can relate. Maybe you'll get a laugh like "Dexy's back under the red light" or that hilarious one where C.I. had Dexy saying, "So soldier, you got a girl?" Ramon printed that one and posted it at work.
Ramon says that there are a million stories that never get told about Iraq from the big slaughters to the individual stories. Like the pregnant woman that was shot and killed at a checkpoint back in May. My mother watches the evening news, I think NBC, and she was talking about how there's no follow up and there's no connections being made. Each massacre or slaughter is treated as an exception.
I agree with that. There's so much going on and there's so little coverage. You really have to work to find it. That's why I love the "Iraq snapshot." In the gina & krista round-robin poll, I voted to keep it and lose the highlights because to me, it's the best thing you can get. I've seen the Reuter's Factbox each day and it's . . . okay. It doesn't provide many connections and it doesn't offer an opinion because it's news. All afternoon, I'm checking The Common Ills looking for the snapshot. I'll compare notes with my mother on the phone later and she'll say, "I didn't hear that on the news."
Jake Kovko was a story she never heard about except from me passing on bits from The Common Ills. At first, like the first three days, she didn't believe it because she kept saying, "That can't be true or it would be on the news." If you don't know the story, Kovko was a soldier in Iraq. He was Australian. He died. His body was sent home. But it wasn't. They sent the wrong body home. Then their equivalent of Secretary of Defense started telling their news that Kovko committed suicide and this other stuff that really upset the family. When his body finally made it home and they had his funeral, when I was reading about that, I was crying at work. I felt so sorry for that family, his parents, his wife Shelley. They were for the war and that really doesn't matter to me. They lost someone really important to them and that shouldn't have happened. The war should never have happened. I remember that one of the songs they played at his funeral was by James Blunt, but I'm forgetting which one. I'll try to look that up.
But no one should have died but people keep dying and that's because we won't rise up and say "End the war!"
One CD I will mention is The Complete Cass Ellioot Solo Collection 1968-1971. You can get it at amazon.com. Elaine mentioned it last week, I do read her blog, and meant to note the title. I got it at amazon. It's a two disc set. "Darling Be Home Soon" is my favorite song.
Okay, I just called Mike, read this to him and he was so nice to listen. He says it's great but I bet he's being very generous. I'll see you tomorrow night.
Violence and chaos continue. Monday on KPFA's Flashpoints, Dahr Jamail told Nora Barrows-Friedman, "It really is horrible to try to keep in context the level of violence . . . Here we are doing it again with no end in sight and I wonder just how long we'll continue doing it? . . . Things are not just staying the same in Iraq, it's getting exponentially worse."
How long before the mainstream press admits that?
In kidnapping news, Raad al-Harith and his body guards have been released. al-Harith is the deputy electricity minister in Iraq who was kidnapped Tuesday. The AFP reports that, "after being held for 10 hour," the bodyguards and al-Hareth were released but that is not the case with regards to Taiseer Najeh Awad al-Mashhadni who was kidnapped Saturday. al-Mashhadani's kidnappers, the AFP reports, "issued demands including special protection for Shiite places" and "called for the release of detainees in US custody and a timetable for the withdrawal of US troops".
Both al-Harith and al-Mashhadni were kidnapped in Baghdad. Remember Baghdad? The "crackdown"? The press seems to have largely forgotten it. As the AFP notes regarding the continued bombings in Baghdad: "The series of blasts come despite an ongoing security plan that has put some 50,000 Iraqi soldiers and police, backed by US forces on the streets."
Basra, which was also placed under a state of emergency also appears largely forgotten. Nancy A. Youssef (McClatchy Newspapers) reports: "The state of emergency ended Saturday, but residents said that little had changed: Shiite militias and tribes still control the city's streets, political factions still fight for control of the city, and Shiite Muslim militias still threaten Sunni Muslims with death. Morgue officials report that the number of people killed in sectarian violence remains unchanged."
Bombings?
Baghdad? The BBC reports that a car bomb near a mosque resulted in at least six dead and at least 17 wounded. AFP notes a bomb "outside a restaurant . . . noteworthy for the massive banners praising Shiite martyrs it displayed" that killed at least one and wounded at least seven as well as another bomb that went off in a market and wounded at least ten peopole. Reuters notes a car bomb in Kirkuk that left three wounded and a roadside bomb that left two wounded. In Mosul, AFP reports, a police officer and a civilian lost their lives when a car bomb exploded (at least four other people were wounded).
Corpses?
Near Kirkuk, AFP reports, "a headless male corpse" was discovered. Reuters reports the discovery of two corpses in Kerbala. AP notes the discovery of a corpse ("shot in the head) in Baghdad.
Shooting deaths?
AFP reports a Kurd was killed while driving his car in Kirkuk. In Mosul, Reuters counts four dead from gun shots. In Baghdad, AP reports that a drive by targeted a Shi-ite family, "killing a 12-year-old boy and wounding his brother and two other relatives."
Reuters reports that the central morgue in Baghdad places the body count for June at 1,595. Abdul Razzaq al-Obaidi states: "June is the highest month in terms of receiving cases of violence since" the Februrary 22nd bombing of the Golden Mosque.
To underscore, the waves of Operation Happy Talk that the peace plan/scam was a 'turning point,' that the death of Zarqawi/"Zarqawi" was a 'turning point,' go down the list -- there has been no 'turning point.'
On Tuesday, Iraq's justice minister Hashim Abdul-Rahman al-Shebli made a call for an independent investigation into the alleged rape of an under-age Iraqi female as well as her alleged murder and that of three of her family members. Today, the Associated Press reports, Nouri al-Maliki (Iraq prime minister and puppet of the illegal occupation) is following al-Shebi's call for an independent investigation. Canada's CBC notes that today was the first time he spoke publicly on the matter . This despite the fact that Green was arrested Friday (news broke on Monday) and the US announced the investigation on Friday. Though various reports mention the alleged involvement of others, thus far only Steven D. Green has been charged. Today on KPFA's The Morning Show, Sandra Lupien noted that the military has gone from referring to Green having an alleged "personality disorder" to his having an "anti-social personality disorder." Lebanon's The Daily Star reports that Safiyya al-Suhail and Ayda al-Sharif (both serve in Iraq's parliament, both are women) are asserting that al-Maliki needs to appear before parliament "to give assurances the US troops would be punished."
The thing at the top is C.I.'s "Iraq snapshot" for Wednesday. My nickname is Sunny and my grandfather gave me that nickname. It's what everyone calls me. I work for Elaine and, for three days, she called me by my given name. Then my mother, who was dying for three days, dying to come up and see my new job, shows up (she'd promised to wait one week but didn't make it) and it's all Sunny this & Sunny that. Elaine asks about my name and my mother says, "Everyone calls her Sunny, you call her Sunny, everyone calls her Sunny, it's because of her smile." Though that reads like several sentence, I didn't make them several sentences. If you knew my mother (who is very sweet), you'd know why.
I want to give a big shout out to Mike who Elaine told me to call if I had any questions. I called him. With a big question - "How do I start?" He said put C.I.'s snapshot up and then I'll have something and won't be staring at a blank screen. That helps. Mike blogs at Mikey Likes It! and if you come here and don't know that already, let me see when Elaine has an opening and pencil you in for a session. :)
I asked Elaine if it was okay to write about her and she said yes. Then I asked if I could write about C.I. and she said yes. So if I add Rebecca to the list, I have three posts. Elaine's back on Wednesday so that means I have three posts that I think I can do.
This is just my intro post. I'll talk a little about me so you'll know somethings. I'll talk about myself tomorrow when I'm talking about Elaine too. Heck, I'll probably talk about myself all week.
I'm 26 years old as of last month. I'm single but steady-dating a guy named Ramon who is very wonderful, too wonderful. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop and for him to explain that he's on parole or married. I've had other jobs before but they didn't pay that well. They paid crap. I had just gotten my first apartment when I was fired from my job. They had cut backs and called it a lay off but it was fired in my book. I was in a panic and started applying for everything, including dental hygenist, whether I was qualified or not. Elaine took a chance on me, she'd disagree, but she did. I'll talk about that some more tomorrow but what you need to know right now, if you didn't already, is that she's a really cool person. We have a lot of fun.
In high school, my best friend Joyce and I were working fast food. That was a lot of fun because we'd always be able to laugh. That's the only job I've enjoyed before this. And I didn't enjoy that work. I do enjoy the work I do now.
Joyce. Joyce has a two kids, both little girls. She got married three years ago and I kid her that she'll have a third baby any day now. Her girls are so pretty, sweet and precious. I see them and think, "I want babies!" Then I see how much she and her husband, both work, struggle and I think, "I should wait." Those girls are wonderful but they better appreciate all their parents are sacrificing for them. My parents did as well but, like my mother says, a dollar went further back then. Ramon and I babysit every other Friday for them because they need a night out.
Joyce said it was okay to write about their money situation and that she really wished I would because she turns on TV and sees all these women who don't work or give up working and feels like no one knows what her life is like.
She works a forty-hour week and so does her husband. Her mother watches the girls during the day. With two full time jobs, meaning two full time paychecks, they still struggle. Her sister works at a clothing store so when the girls are older, if her sister's still there, clothes shouldn't be a problem but right now, everything is.
They have no cable. When there's a game or a concert, I always invite them over. Ramon follows sports so he's better at it than I am. (Ramon and I do not live together, in case you're wondering. We've only been dating a few months.) Their bills are down to rent and utilities. Everything else goes to taking care of the kids. Baby food is not cheap. Nothing is.
I think it's disgusting that two people work so hard and they still have to struggle. Joyce was really worried when their second daughter was born because she stayed home on family leave and her husband started talking about quitting his job and going somewhere else. It would be great if he could get a better paying job but her concern was that, with the economy, he might end up without any job. So he agreed to stay because it was really stressing her out, to the point of high blood pressure. Joyce and I are the same age, there's no reason in the world she should end up with high blood pressure but that's the sort of story you never hear about in the news that just focuses on "Oh, I've got my new house and my new baby."
When I was growing up, I watched Roseanne. There doesn't seem to be any show like that today. Everyone has money. Sometimes they'll whine about not having it, but they don't have to do much, it just shows up. Dan and Roseanne were always struggling and that was reality in my family. That's still reality for a lot of families. But you turn on TV and there's Deborah Barone, stay at home Mom. There's one after another all over TV. I know of two women from my high school graduating class who stay home with their kids. No one else can afford it. But you don't see that on TV.
When I was growing up, it seemed like being a woman was a good thing. Nothing to be ashamed of. But if I watch TV today, I always get the impression that it's a bad thing to be a woman. I really wonder where the Roseannes and Murphy Browns are today? I thought Murphy Brown was funny. It was nothing like my life, but I loved how she didn't take any crap and had this life that was so not like mine. Not in a "unreal" way the way the stay at home moms are. But more like, "Maybe when I grow up . . ."
So that's my problem with TV today.
My other problems? Oh, don't get me started. I should be one of Elaine's patients!
Iraq is a big issue with me. I'm a member of The Common Ills community. I'm a lazy member because I mainly read, but if you look around, you'll find me weighing in with a suggested link or a favorite thing every now and then.
Why do I like The Common Ills? Because it's funny. It really is. I laugh so much. And it's funny while tackling serious subjects. One of the big subjects there is Iraq and I really can't believe how little attention the war gets elsewhere. The Iraq focus has only gotten beefed up and Joyce goes that's because C.I.'s carrying the weight for a lot of people. I agree with that.
But it's told or written in a way that you can relate. Maybe you'll get a laugh like "Dexy's back under the red light" or that hilarious one where C.I. had Dexy saying, "So soldier, you got a girl?" Ramon printed that one and posted it at work.
Ramon says that there are a million stories that never get told about Iraq from the big slaughters to the individual stories. Like the pregnant woman that was shot and killed at a checkpoint back in May. My mother watches the evening news, I think NBC, and she was talking about how there's no follow up and there's no connections being made. Each massacre or slaughter is treated as an exception.
I agree with that. There's so much going on and there's so little coverage. You really have to work to find it. That's why I love the "Iraq snapshot." In the gina & krista round-robin poll, I voted to keep it and lose the highlights because to me, it's the best thing you can get. I've seen the Reuter's Factbox each day and it's . . . okay. It doesn't provide many connections and it doesn't offer an opinion because it's news. All afternoon, I'm checking The Common Ills looking for the snapshot. I'll compare notes with my mother on the phone later and she'll say, "I didn't hear that on the news."
Jake Kovko was a story she never heard about except from me passing on bits from The Common Ills. At first, like the first three days, she didn't believe it because she kept saying, "That can't be true or it would be on the news." If you don't know the story, Kovko was a soldier in Iraq. He was Australian. He died. His body was sent home. But it wasn't. They sent the wrong body home. Then their equivalent of Secretary of Defense started telling their news that Kovko committed suicide and this other stuff that really upset the family. When his body finally made it home and they had his funeral, when I was reading about that, I was crying at work. I felt so sorry for that family, his parents, his wife Shelley. They were for the war and that really doesn't matter to me. They lost someone really important to them and that shouldn't have happened. The war should never have happened. I remember that one of the songs they played at his funeral was by James Blunt, but I'm forgetting which one. I'll try to look that up.
But no one should have died but people keep dying and that's because we won't rise up and say "End the war!"
One CD I will mention is The Complete Cass Ellioot Solo Collection 1968-1971. You can get it at amazon.com. Elaine mentioned it last week, I do read her blog, and meant to note the title. I got it at amazon. It's a two disc set. "Darling Be Home Soon" is my favorite song.
Okay, I just called Mike, read this to him and he was so nice to listen. He says it's great but I bet he's being very generous. I'll see you tomorrow night.
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